Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
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By
alstbv12
| 13
I guess he wanted to try the one-eyed pirate with you.
By
alissa222
| 15
At least he tried?
COMMENTS
By
alstbv12
| 13
I guess he wanted to try the one-eyed pirate with you.
Reply
MetalxSoldier
| 26
Wooo! You lucky woman you! I guess he wants that "booty"
Reply
miyaviichan
| 27
Defiantly looked pretty good, too.
Reply
ryguy83
| 2
I just watched that movie
Reply
JocelynKaulitz
| 28
Well was that spontaneous enough for you, wench?
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nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
I'm surprised no one has asked what the "one-eyed pirate" is yet. I think it's sort of...bad that I know.
Reply
FirebirdF350
| 7
Miss kendall, the one I believe your thinking of is 'angry pirate' although now that I think of it one-eyed pirate would be similar, she would still need the peg leg though, our else it's just blind wench
Reply
deBlobX
| 12
Um thats not even how you spell "definitely"
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KaiserSD
| 8
All she said was spontaneous, meaning it was left to interpretation. Shouldn't be surprised when it doesn't come out the way you want. Next time, don't be vague.
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deBlobX
| 12
Sorry I just got a bit into the spirit of assholishness on FML I hate autocorrect too
By
RealTalk0
| 7
Lol well he would also need the hook to do that.
Reply
Justin0481
| 5
The first to thumbs up noor, thats much more prestigious than the first comment.
Reply
perdix
| 29
#18, I've never hired a hooker, partly because I was never 100% sure of what they do. Now that you've made it clear to me, I'm definitely not doing that!!!!
Reply
Mrnice
| 8
That would slice up things alright
By
alissa222
| 15
At least he tried?
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Aug1508
| 9
Exactly!! Beggers can't be choosers!
Reply
DisappearingRose
| 18
If you were in a Scooby Doo movie, you would play the Jeepers Creepers guy. (;
Reply
DisappearingRose
| 18
Edit: If he was in a Scooby Doo movie, he would play the Jeepers Creepers guy. (;
@OP
@OP
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UsernameHere234
| 13
Love the picture, 4. Benedict Cumberbatch is awesome. And the British Sherlock Holmes series is beautiful.
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AKGirlinSD
| 20
4, exactly! I would have laughed my ass off and still go along with it. Original Poster needs to thank her boyfriend somehow ;-).
Reply
AKGirlinSD
| 20
*meant "husband," before the FML commenters hound on me :-).
Reply
Dracoboxer357
| 35
4- At least he tried AND she didn't have to spend the night responding to "Fluttershy", like a previous Op who requested the same thing from her hubby. ;P
By
jetsown08
| 21
Avast, ye best be obeyin' yar cap'ns commands, lest he force ye to walk the plank.
Reply
syki
| 22
*wank. :P
Reply
FirebirdF350
| 7
Walk the wank or wank the plank, I prefer she be the maid on my prow, the harbor to my seamen, ect.
By
M_Rainbow
| 7
Way too spontaneous?
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guy24
| 9
I see no problem... He did exactly what she asked.
Reply
fortunelady
| 15
62-
"Be more spontanteous."
"I have an eyepatch fetish/I think we should roleplay/Be the pirate captain to my fair maiden."
I see where he got the idea, honestly, but I would not call the two ideas exactly the same. That said, I wouldn't object to my OH calling me a wench in the boudoir but that doesn't mean the OP feels the same way!
"Be more spontanteous."
"I have an eyepatch fetish/I think we should roleplay/Be the pirate captain to my fair maiden."
I see where he got the idea, honestly, but I would not call the two ideas exactly the same. That said, I wouldn't object to my OH calling me a wench in the boudoir but that doesn't mean the OP feels the same way!
By
Glitterhinoceros
| 14
That's a nice way to set the mood.
Reply
draykeknudsen
| 2
Hey message me :)
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
At least he didn't come in dressed as dog asking to rub his belly!
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CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
At least he didn't come in dressed as dog asking to rub his belly!
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momolee
| 4
That was funny and spontaneous . It's not an FML at all
By
Helloilike_lacro
| 8
Did you ride his plank?
Reply
ladyLALAA
| 28
I laughed rather loudly at this on the train, got a few judging looks. Thanks for the giggles and making me look like a nutter!
By
PaulB123
| 11
You just set captain jack sparrow loose, maitte.
By
Dracoboxer357
| 35
Matey, I give your husband 5 stars for effort.
End result? Closer to 2 stars. ;P
End result? Closer to 2 stars. ;P
By
PhilSnake22
| 13
I see no problem here...