Work: Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners'...

By outofajob - United States - Farmington

Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML

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Work

Understandable

Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

Seize the means of production

By lingadoo - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

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31941

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By Vgameboi - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

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28333

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By englishtrio - United States

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

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75078

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By michael

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

478

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2759

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By annonymous - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

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25794

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By badmombadkids - 24/5/2020 02:00

Assholes, assholes everywhere

Today, my nephews decided to play with and break the antique hourglass I bought for my mom. It took months to find and cost nearly $500. When I told my sister, she refused to repay me and responded with, "What do you expect, they’re just little boys!" Her "little boys" are 12 and 14. FML

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2181

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138

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By Jennyfromdablock - United States

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

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12876

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By oops - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48036

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By Whoops...

Today, my breakfast disagreed with me and I shit myself unexpectedly at the laundromat, right after starting the washer with all of my other pants in it. FML

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2695

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283

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By Fried.

Oh nose!

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

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1860

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112

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By nipped - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13962

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By FML - United States

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42597

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5365

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By changeddaily - Australia

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35363

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By Anonymous - Romania

Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12403

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By DC - United States - Sioux City

Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14794

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1512

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By WhyBother - 21/2/2021 05:02

Starfish

Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

909

You deserved it

265

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By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32393

You deserved it

2317

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By Noname - United States

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17647

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By ahhhhhh - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32545

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By Aaron - 12/4/2021 07:59

Second Life

Today, I finally got to experience being loved, or at least what it looks like. I paid for a fabulous wedding in a video game with a reluctant friend, who only agreed after I explained all the free costumes, pets, and other items he'd receive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

541

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286

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By mermaidkeels - United States - Miami

Today, after attending lectures for months, studying for weeks, and spending hours writing a 15-page research paper, I was informed that due to technological issues during registration, I was not enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17831

You deserved it

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By brittaneejanex - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

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36640

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By sleekRelease

Today, I was expecting an important delivery for a party I'm having tonight. I was in the shower when the doorbell rang. In my haste, I slipped and ended up with a bunch of little cuts and bruises. Turns out, it was someone trying to leave a note saying it would be delivered tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1662

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160

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By Kybo5 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

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7872

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By Our Talisman - France

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9822

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By lostinthewoods

GPS FML

Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. When we got to the bottom of the mountain, we discovered we were on the wrong side. We had to hike 13 extra miles to go around the mountain to get back to our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1766

You deserved it

344

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31720

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By Poor as fuck

With friends like these…

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1672

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305

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By R2A8 - Kenya

Today, after I got lectured about not replying on the family group chat, I decided to wish everyone a good morning. No one responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1987

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275

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By kthx - Canada

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36613

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3482

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By confused - 9/2/2021 02:00 - United States

Oh, the patriarchy

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1768

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124

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By Salliemae - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend took my car on a 3-day vacation, stranding me in our extremely rural town. I have a box of ziti, a jar of expired pickles, no cable or Netflix, and no water since the well ran dry. Why am I here? "Someone needs to stay with the dog and feed the cows." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2826

You deserved it

368

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By thunderthighs644

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

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33259

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By flowerging - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44409

You deserved it

16218

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By Anonymous - Slovenia - Ruse

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46528

You deserved it

3514

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By -____- - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55197

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By wispywee - Canada

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35000

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18313

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By syl - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25164

You deserved it

5194

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By LFE - United States - Liberty Hill

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27567

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By nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

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43295

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Top comments

By patrickeli | 15

#6160607 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:41

Some business owners aren't meant for business

By ihartmytdi | 23

#6160618 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:47

People rarely see the positive side in constructive criticism. Most just dwell on negativity without giving notice to the potential for change.

COMMENTS

By patrickeli | 15

#6160607 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:41

Some business owners aren't meant for business

By coming back in the future | 30

#6160608 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:41

Good riddance. Although you might have trouble finding a new job.

By ThoranSlock | 13

#6160609 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:41

I don't get it?

Purexinsanity | 46

#6160786 - Friday 2 January 2015 15:57

The owner runs a business where his employees quit often, so at his request, OP explained what might be the problem. The owner took it personally and fired OP.

TacoTrop | 10

#6160993 - Friday 2 January 2015 21:20

Maybe it's because you're way too young for FML?

AyOoDaLoBo33 | 10

#6161012 - Friday 2 January 2015 21:45

#20 I think OP was actually a customer at this place, and when the he gave the owners customer feedback they asked him not to come back. OP wasn't an employee to fire.

thebestofboth | 20

#6161191 - Saturday 3 January 2015 2:07

But the name is out of a job so that brings us to the conclusion that op was an employee

By bearstyle22 | 11

#6160614 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:45

What you say by chance?

Classy_Sassy_15 | 15

#6160734 - Friday 2 January 2015 15:00

The dog has logic.

spoo | 24

#6164951 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 21:40

Couldnt find any toilet paper in the toilet fixters isle?

By ihartmytdi | 23

#6160618 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:47

People rarely see the positive side in constructive criticism. Most just dwell on negativity without giving notice to the potential for change.

By bombielol | 20

#6160620 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:51

well ts his loss I'm sure you were a great worker Dont feel bad op

milehigh52 | 22

#6161204 - Saturday 3 January 2015 2:31

I don't know why you were voted down. That was a nice thing to say.

greencurtains74 | 11

#6161375 - Saturday 3 January 2015 6:17

38. It is either the grammar nazis or those who dislike her main photo. My guesses anyway.

FEARxTH3xWOLF | 14

#6161377 - Saturday 3 January 2015 6:22

I accidentally hit down vote instead and I can't change it sorry

By anoniemm | 13

#6160623 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:54

Aw man, too bad they couldn't handle it...
At least you did the right thing...
Good luck in finding a new job where they do appreciate constructive critisism, op!

By pooldude | 24

#6160632 - Friday 2 January 2015 11:04

you cant handle the truth!

By Earths_Venus | 25

#6160643 - Friday 2 January 2015 11:26

Am I the only one who doesn't understand this FML? I've read it 5 times and I still don't get it.

LadyMadness | 11

#6160648 - Friday 2 January 2015 11:45

basically a store owner asked OP why people keep quitting, and OP gave him the reason. the owner didn't like what OP said, even though it could be beneficial to the owner to listen and instead he fired OP