By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 807
You deserved it 4 820

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Tell him you're a vampire.

Get into character, be his werewoman!

Comments

Get into character, be his werewoman!

Does he also frequently take off his shirt?

TorturedXeno 27

Do all the teenage girls and fifty-year-old moms swoon over him?

He's going all twilight on you. Next thing you know he calls you Bella

Wifwolf. It's a wifwolf. 'Were' is the anglo-saxon word for 'man'. 'Wif' is the word for 'woman'. Therefore a female 'were'wolf would be a wifwolf. Unless you suggest that the OP becomes a man that turns into a woman under full moon, which would be confusing for everyone involved.

62 must be OP's crush and he doesn't even know it.

@75 My androgynous look is a success! :D Nah, I'm just a random pedant. And female.

God damn it rattusrattus, how dare you teach me something here! This is FML, not a linguistics class! Lolololol *cough cough* Nevermind. Carry on.

62 - Made me think of WiFi when I first read it.

Still a better love story than Twi-Oh wait...

62- Then wouldn't we call him a werewif? If he became a woman under the full moon... Haha.

Docbastard.. I didn't know God's last name is 'Damn'. Explain please.

If his name is Jacob Black, this is totally acceptable.

62- that's pretty much what a werewolf is, a man who turns into a bloodsucking creature at the full moon. wolf or woman is only a minor technicality. I'm a female, I can be sexist against women

God? There are people who still believe in that?

164- No you can't. Also, werewolves aren't the ones that suck blood

Sure, you can be sexist. Free speech and all that. Just expect people to call you out on your bullshit. Y'know, because free speech. Also, that was one of the most misogynistic things I've heard outside of the various arseholes of the internet. Still pretty fuckin' misogynistic.

158: smart ass.

So, his arse is an intelligent, sentient being?

I wish my ass had some intelligence, all it does is sit everywhere like a dumbass.

Bit of werewolf knowledge going on... Interesting but weird. Lol I always thought werewolf referred to both sexes, however I have heard the term shewolf. I wonder if she'd become the scariest monster out there if her period and the full moon landed on the same day...

He wouldn't lie to you, OP, about a such important thing

Tell him to turn you! Join him!!!

Taylor lautner? I think the only thing he has going for him is abs.

I always read your comments in Pinkie Pie's voice :c

Unless you're a fan of Ranma 1/2.

#219 : damn that can the dooms day lol

At least you uh.. Dodged that bullet? ;)

I'm guessing OP doesn't like it rough.

That would still be a better love story than Twilight though.

He literally never wears. A shirt.

Tell him you're a vampire.

Preferably one that doesn't sparkle in sunlight..

Preferably one like Kate beckinsale.

It even better... Like Aaliyah in Queen of the Damned! Now THAT was a fucking vampire!

Just walk up and bite him

Hell no, 55!! If I were a vampire, i would be Lydia :) (Pandora).

That just makes things kinky. People actually like that.

But they're natural enemies... Geek moment. Sorry.

Alucard is a real fucking vampire.

No one mentions Dracula??

108, exactly. Then there will be this forbidden love thing going on between them and it will be much sexier :)

If I were a vampire and be Selene off of underworld! Or one from Van Helsing cuz they can fly. :3

Were's a leather clad Wesley snipes when you need him :)

FORBIDDEN ROMANCE!!!!!

Or she could stop being a bitch and quit crushing him!

Lara from Dresden files!

One word... Blackula.

Sexiest female vampire was in Bram Stokers Dracula and was his #1 wife. Thats who I'd be ;)

I was waiting for someone to say that. Oh eww... He stepped in fairy shit... It's all over the bottom of his shoe- oh wait nevermind, that's just Edward.

Hold on I'll be back *leaves for 10 minutes* returns in wesley snipes costume *utters some obscure blade quote*

Lol. I see what you did there.

If I was a vampire, I'd be my Skyrim character. Even during the day he still dominates.

Alucard is the shit! He is the best vampire

Shoot him with a silver bullet and see if he dies!!!

Or decapitation. You could shoot him with a silver coated mortar shell and decapitate him at the same time.

3- your comment reminds me of the method they used to determine if a person was a witch or not: if she drowns, then she wasn't a witch.

Or we could set him up with a suicide bomber disguised as red riding hood?

Why would we do that?

I agree with 31. I also think that if OP still loves him, she wouldn't try to find out

32, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought of Jin-Roh,

I thought you were referencing supernatural. lol

He's gonna die whether he's a werewolf or not....

Hahahaha I love FML's

You love fuck my lifes?

I figured that was why you were here...

That is what they're called, FML's, and yes I get a good laugh out of them haha.

Actually they're called FMLs, not FML's. You can't have an owner without an object. Hurdur.

No, it would be "FMLs". Not "FML's". The ' makes the FML possessive.

Oh here come the grammar Nazi's, regardless you get the juste of it. You people NEED lives. You really do. Take things as a grain of salt and learn to laugh! Hahaha

good for you mr. grammar nazi, nobody gives a crap. it's the internet, not english language class alright? you seem to have those 2 things mixed up. so screw off with your stupid english lessons and take them back to the classroom where you teach foreigners english. people like you that correct peoples grammar/spelling on the internet as if it actually matters here need to get a life

Autocorrect probably

Actually, abbreviations, dates, and a few others can have apostrophes without showing ownership. It's a personal preference really. This is if the grammar rules haven't changed.

It's better than a gay vampire....

Team Jacob ftw?! . . . Yeah I kinda hate myself for saying that :|

stevenJB 25

Well...now I have a stomach cramp. Thx Alot.

7 read the reply above about shape-changers please.

Don't worry. I also hate you for saying that.

Spread the hate! I am

Then why the hell would you say it to begin with!!??

It's okay, I'm a fan too! *hurls*

Don't worry, we all hate you a little bit for it

My friend thought he was a vampire once...

8- Did you catch him sucking on tampons?

Then he realized he was just emo

Is your friend Butters from south park? XD

105- what did the one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month.

No, but you just did. Damn you.

There should be a full moon in a couple weeks. Then you'll know for sure!

But if they date, their wolf.

Why are you talking like that?

*sigh* Hasn't Anyone Seen 'Young Frankenstein'? Anyone?