Today, I found out that women have another hole that they pee... - FML

By Jeff - 12/06/2019 14:00

Today, I found out that women have another hole that they pee out of. I'm 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 2 798

Leave us alone

"Tubular Bells" starts playing…

Red flag

By Anonymous - 28/01/2010 11:00 - Norway

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 471

You deserved it 30 122

By devakii - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 175

You deserved it 2 284

By Anonymous - 01/10/2018 15:30

Today, I learned that one should not sleep with their roommate's friends, especially the ones that never go home. I spent the whole weekend in my room just to avoid the awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 3 414

By Aaron - 27/01/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 880

You deserved it 39 380

By DrumrollPlease - 13/07/2016 07:50 - United Kingdom - Banbury

Today, my phone autocorrected "with chills" to "with child" in the middle of a message, and I didn't notice until I was contacted several hours later by a panicking friend. My gastric flu is now rumoured to have been morning sickness, all because I can't proofread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 640

You deserved it 2 254

By katie876 - 14/01/2012 13:34 - United States

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 083

You deserved it 3 440

By bleh - 27/11/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 118

You deserved it 3 129

By Anonymous - 30/01/2012 09:00 - Australia

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 3 285

By sastgamer - 21/05/2016 17:46 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I asked about 30 students and 3 of my teachers to sign my yearbook. So far, only my math teacher agreed to write in it. He wrote, "You need to try harder next year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 337

You deserved it 1 761

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 033

You deserved it 62 948

By Hayley - 11/01/2010 03:37 - Canada

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 498

You deserved it 4 518

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 054

You deserved it 4 978

Spider-Maaaaaaan

By 8 Legs plus 1 - 08/05/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 18:41 - United States - Downey

Spicy

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 808

You deserved it 58 700

By evilsandwich - 06/03/2013 17:18 - Canada - London

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 916

You deserved it 2 124

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 13:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 946

You deserved it 140 102

By take a fucking seat, gran - 14/12/2013 22:05 - United States - Fullerton

Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 4 017

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 3 852

By chaoticnh - 24/06/2011 09:57 - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 12 593

Better Call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 16:01

Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 71

Skincare

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 05:00 - Germany - Dresden

Today, I have a new scar on my chin, which is still very sensitive to pressure. So, naturally, my body considers this the perfect spot for growing what feels like the world’s biggest pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 72

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 372

You deserved it 4 429

By caroline - 06/02/2009 15:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717 836

You deserved it 66 700

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 02:37 - United States

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 34 572

By razzipost1 - 05/10/2009 05:28 - Canada

Today, I came home from work to my basement flooding. With sewage. That wasn't from our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 818

You deserved it 2 033

By Ewwwww - 27/05/2019 11:59

Today, while working the register, I told a kid his total was $2.15. He then took his shoe off and handed me his money. It was damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 06:02

Today, I wasn't allowed to fly. Again. Yesterday my flight was overbooked. Today I didn't have the yellow fever vaccine. Not once was this requirement mentioned. Nobody would believe me. Luckily, it turned out that this requirement did not apply to me. They realised this after the plane left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 105

By suzyyy - 23/02/2011 09:18 - Netherlands

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 28 239

Two wheels not so good

By Dana O'Neil - 24/04/2021 00:30

Today, it's been 4 days of recovering from a motorcycle accident. Which happened 5 hours after it was delivered. I went face-first through a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 827

By Wellpoo - 02/01/2018 19:00

Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not exactly the new year cleanse I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 174

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 18:02

Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 958

You deserved it 1 312

By xXMudkipNoobXx - 13/01/2012 01:20 - United States

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 942

You deserved it 6 143

By Enni - 27/08/2016 08:47

Today, my husband told me that, "a girl's orgasm serves no purpose". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 604

You deserved it 1 512

Great deal

By Depressed - 04/08/2011 11:45 - Sudan

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 368

You deserved it 41 256

By sucker - 26/09/2012 17:07 - United States - Milton

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 000

You deserved it 2 466

Genius, definitely

By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 07:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend claims he found a way of spending time with my son without actually spending time with him. They play hide and seek, and for a long time as he shouts, “I’m gonna find you” every few minutes. The game can last over an hour while he watches TV without interruptions. Genius or asshole? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 260

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 157

You deserved it 1 062

By Anonymous - 17/10/2012 02:48 - United States

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 912

You deserved it 1 991

By grantsidiots - 27/11/2013 05:51 - Australia

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 732

You deserved it 3 131

Nutshot

By DanJames24 - 10/06/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 62

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Top comments

Laurea Lindroos 8

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 15:09

Just another proof that very few men care at all about female anatomy 🙄 it’s not someone elses fault, it’s complete lack of interest.

Ashamed_Sister 60

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 14:37

...and we have a hole to poop.

Comments

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 14:26

school biology is pretty shitty

Ashamed_Sister 60

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 14:37

...and we have a hole to poop.

Send a private message

Wednesday 12 June 2019 18:26

Now you're just making things up for attention. Next you'll tell me the female orgasm is real too

Send a private message

Thursday 13 June 2019 12:55

fake news

Laurea Lindroos 8

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 15:09

Just another proof that very few men care at all about female anatomy 🙄 it’s not someone elses fault, it’s complete lack of interest.

NostalgiaFreak9 40

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 15:54

Did you fail biology back in elementary school?

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 16:08

These things are not taught well, Or certainly weren’t in the 80s and 90s. I’m a woman and I only found this out my 30s too.

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Thursday 13 June 2019 7:47

How did you not notice that you have two holes down there? Simple childhood curiosity should have solved this. For reference, I am also a female.

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 18:28

This is sad but I bet he still knows more about female anatomy than anyone who helped the vote against abortion go through

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Wednesday 12 June 2019 18:39

if you're in America blame the public health education system. in my state they don't mention it to the kids in sex ed because they cant use it to put the fear of pregnancy and std in you.

1gullible_bugger 33

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Thursday 13 June 2019 1:06

Should have paid attention in biology class.

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Thursday 13 June 2019 18:41

Whaaaaat is this hole you speak of??? -Aaron, 40

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Saturday 15 June 2019 0:09

Wait they don’t pee out of their vaginas?

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 41

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 144

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 925