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  Cad6  |  24

*Grandma passes through body check*
*Inspectors do baggage check.*
Inspectors: *urgently murmuring*
Grandma: What's the hold-up?
Inspectors:'am we found a lethal weapon in your backpack.
Grandma: Oh, that backpack's not mine.
Inspectors: Orly? It has your name on it.
Grandma: Yes, but the knife isn't mine.
Inspectors: We never said anything about a knife.
Grandma: *attempts to bolt for the nearest exit*
Inspectors: *Tackles the grandma*

Eventually they let her go, only to escort her out of the airport, noting her as "dangerous". The OP stared in horror, ashamed of what the grandma did. His only option was to go on FML, and post this tragic story.