Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
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By
iLike2Teabag
| 27
Holy mother of OP she's good.
By
giantsfan2010
| 23
She's good. How the hell do you do that in church with nobody noticing.
Comments
By
iLike2Teabag
| 27
Holy mother of OP she's good.
Reply
Classy_Sassy_15
| 15
I hand it to her she's great but she shouldn't have told you that congrats on your second child though
Reply
iLike2Teabag
| 27
And we also know the real reason OP's dad spontaneously yelled out "oh God!" in church.
Reply
jalmanza2580
| 11
she's 19 and has 1 kid and is happy about another on the way??
Reply
llalala_fml
| 19
#75 hands it to her
Reply
iLike2Teabag
| 27
Who's 19? Wutchu talkin bout, Willis?
Reply
atav
| 16
@90 #82 assumed that the op is 19 since their username ends in 97, although that would only make the op 17.
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
Holy Jizz...
By
giantsfan2010
| 23
She's good. How the hell do you do that in church with nobody noticing.
Reply
FrutLoopDingus
| 19
That's what I was thinking! OP tell your mom great job
Reply
Mekeritrig
| 15
The husband probably had an article of clothing on his lap under which the wife snuck her hand and did the deed. Impressive.
Reply
may14th
| 26
God noticed.
Reply
tony1891
| 22
perhaps Everyone thought he was shouting "oh god" cause he was feeling the sermon.
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Everyone else's eyes were closed during prayer time?
Reply
AddictGamer
| 16
I jacked off on a bus without anyone noticing ~ beat that OP's mother. And #48, that would have to be a quickie then.
Reply
BSnapZ
| 21
#77 I feel like it would be a lot easier to do it to yourself than it would be to do it to someone else...
By
DenBriZel
| 31
I am very curious as to how she managed to pull that off.. 0.0
Reply
cakefete2
| 30
Well played pun. I salute you.
Reply
sarkaar
| 30
I hope she didn't literally pull it off. :-)
Reply
pugpuggy
| 21
Well, you gotta 'hand' it her.
By
flurpiee
| 14
Well congratulations on expecting!
By
Witchylady
| 17
Wow your mother is a piece of work. Congratulations on the news about your second child.
By
MRP360
| 14
pop open the brain bleach!
Reply
Sandman366
| 6
Um, I ran out. Where do you get yours?
By
sicksadworld1317
| 30
We need time machines. That way, you could have shot back "The real achievement is that I got knocked up in church. It's an immaculate conception! If you want me to aim any higher than that, you're screwed."
By
badluckalex
| 23
.
By
PoshChip
| 9
Misread fml
Reply
kitkatmiaow
| 21
Sadly not...
By
Dodge4x4Ram
| 46
wife of the year