Work: Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My...

By Nick - 06/08/2013 14:44 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 098

You deserved it 3 562

Work

Bottom of the list

Compassionate management

Fill her up

By 1nfected - 26/08/2009 17:07 - Canada

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous co-worker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added the color was fitting perfectly with my acne... I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 259

You deserved it 3 616

By whatafuckhead - 23/11/2015 01:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after my landlord commented on how rarely I drink milk, and I joked that I'm "probably going to die young" because of it. Then I immediately remembered that her 35-year-old husband died last year of a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 317

You deserved it 4 864

By weeping_angel_ - 12/07/2014 14:00 - United States - Cortland

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 907

You deserved it 13 888

By KBBL - 12/03/2014 16:02 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 858

You deserved it 3 868

Bro, do you even lift?

By Anonymous - 30/01/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I sprained my bicep. The urgent care doctor told me to take it easy on weight lifting. When I told him I hurt myself holding a book, he had to leave the room because he couldn’t stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 211

By AussieG75 - 07/05/2013 14:18 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 987

You deserved it 7 415

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 578

You deserved it 14 210

By alipallie - 10/03/2014 00:36 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 067

You deserved it 7 040

By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 940

You deserved it 3 044

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 419

You deserved it 65 458

Call 'em now

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 02:01

Today, I had to tell my adult daughter that living in a pigsty house, breastfeeding when she can be bothered, changing a nappy only once a day, and leaving the baby at any relative's house while she shops is not adequate parenting, and unless she improves, I’m getting social services involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 109

By unemployed - 22/09/2009 17:08 - Canada

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 444

You deserved it 2 718

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 440

You deserved it 3 610

Life goals

By BlackRose - 07/08/2021 18:01

Today, I realized I’d rather be the crazy cat lady rather than get married and have kids like a normal human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 3 296

By HateTheBus - 18/03/2019 02:00

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. I went to pull the cord to request a stop when the driver slammed on the breaks to avoid running a red light, causing me to get thrown out of my seat and slide down the aisle and hit my head on a pole by the front of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 02:47 - United States - New Haven

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 095

You deserved it 2 645

By Baikal - 12/05/2013 04:09 - Singapore

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 917

You deserved it 3 605

By Noname - 03/02/2009 19:57 - United States

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 894

You deserved it 55 172

By wipeoffincircles - 27/05/2017 03:00 - United States - Gresham

Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 444

You deserved it 478

By Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 019

You deserved it 12 554

By ImaSneakyNinja - 17/11/2016 02:55 - United States - Madison Heights

Today, I asked a girl that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks out, but immediately got rejected because I'm left handed. I guess I'll leave that part out next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 809

By MJensen - 10/05/2016 21:57 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, I wanted to be nice to my boyfriend and buy him a cake. Not only did I drop it in the bus, when I got home I forgot that I'd put it on my bed, and sat on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 931

You deserved it 4 222

The long goodbye

By yupimher - 12/10/2019 22:00

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 142

Backwards world

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 03:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 01/04/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 807

You deserved it 7 998

By rhya4n - 15/05/2012 19:27 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 3 355

By Anonymous - 21/03/2013 10:43 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 276

You deserved it 21 758

By 11niko - 02/02/2012 04:57 - United States

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 009

You deserved it 6 986

By unknown - 09/11/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 139

You deserved it 5 155

The gift that keeps on giving

By Katie - 29/08/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, since we weren't getting along. When I got home, I remembered that today is his birthday. Him and all our friends now think I'm a total bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 510

By Ljsmitty - 12/09/2009 20:14 - United States

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 240

You deserved it 2 882

By oakley - 07/01/2017 09:15

Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 418

You deserved it 750

By Anatomy - 28/01/2017 22:00 - United States - Albany

Today, after being suspicious for some time, I learned that my husband really has been going to the library in his free time to study anatomy. Specifically female anatomy, with the librarian, in the back closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 966

You deserved it 641

By Schubey - 20/05/2012 02:04 - Canada - North Bay

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 000

You deserved it 2 050

By Noname - 14/03/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 407

You deserved it 212 755

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 750

You deserved it 51 620

By FML - 24/07/2014 15:59 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 24 166

Get out of there!

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Durham

Today, after I can't count how many times, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to break MORE things in our home, because I asked him not to let our son speak to me rudely. His response, "He said 'OK' so you should have shut up." Basically, he's raising my kid to treat me like he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 543

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 784

You deserved it 256

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

UsernameAnxiety 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:03

That's a bitch move.

meggieeee92 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:04

You should have went back to work and coughed and breathed your germs all over him so he gets sick.

UsernameAnxiety 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:03

That's a bitch move.

webbface 25

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:45

Report him to HR or find a better job? Lol what a dick.

phoneYuNOlisten 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:00

I'll help the cause!

nurchok 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:01

Always ALWAYS ALWAYS send an email if you have to leave early. Even if you've been told to go. Doesn't have to be long, just something in the lines of "

Nyx_fml 23

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2013 2:49

That really was quite short, nurchok.

kewlaidman10 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:03

What an asshole.

Pesticides 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:25

if you kill your boss he won't be able to suspend you op...

firefighter925 18

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:32

Jail time would suck though. #35

AngelSpit 18

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:51

Jail time only comes with getting caught

meggieeee92 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:04

You should have went back to work and coughed and breathed your germs all over him so he gets sick.

beautiful_hope 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:09

I would go spit on/lick everything in his office. Saliva is a good way to transfer germs.

Llama_Face89 33

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:24

Yes...use your hate...

TheModernPatriot 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 23:48

Spread it amongst the masses like a virus ad watch it infect THE WORLD!!!!

rhysfucker 24

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:05

Always ask for, or send, a confirmation e-mail when dealing with people like that. Sorry, OP.

michelleJ11 25

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:05

You deserve better OP! Be happy that you can get away from your ass of a boss now. I bet you'll find a much better job, then you can thank him for firing you & rub it in his face.

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:09

OP wasn't fired; he was suspended. Also, I wouldn't thank any boss for firing me. That sort of thing follows you around on your résumé, not to mention the bad reference you might get from him when your potential employers call.

michelleJ11 25

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:45

Whoops, guess I read it wrong ...

KB616 11

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:06

What a dick.

perdix 29

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:07

He doesn't dislike you that much. If he did, he'd call in the military accusing you of waging biological warfare on his workforce!

beautiful_hope 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:10

I get the impression this has happened to you before.

perdix 29

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:39

Close, I once got fired for calling my boss a Nazi-loving pedophile. Hey, it was true!

thisguy22 33

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2013 0:03

How does he find Nazi children these days?

rocker_chick105 31

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:07

Spit in his coffee

olpally 32

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:10

What a heartless docuhe waffle! Most bosses are like that though :/ you need motherfucker jones. Haha.

olpally 32

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:24

Douche* fuck.

beautiful_hope 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:12

I'd report him to corporate & the BBB. I don't care who he is to the company, he can't treat people that way. I agree with #4 & #5. Get everything in writing from now on. Even if you just write up something that says what they told you & put the date on it & make him sign it & write the date as well. It's better than nothing. Feel better, OP.