Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
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Top comments
By
onlychildFTW
| 33
I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.
By
abusch
| 9
Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.
COMMENTS
By
onlychildFTW
| 33
I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.
Reply
kayteakay
| 26
I agree. That guy is a piece of shit.
Reply
FangirlingAlways
| 14
A ton of guys at my school are like this. Way too many girls like them. It's just sad.
Reply
buttcramp
| 21
totally! A guy should like you for who you are, OP. Any sexual "extras" or "tricks" should be a bonus not a requirement.
Reply
Doritozilla
| 20
OP I'm sure it won't be long before finding someone who appreciates you for your personality. At least you don't have a crush on this guy (I hope).
Reply
kumarina
| 35
This guy only wants sex, he won't really care about you, you deserve a lot better!!!
Reply
michaelaranda
| 28
Well, on the bright side, OP doesn't seem super upset about this.
And OP, I applaud you for sticking up for your standards.
And OP, I applaud you for sticking up for your standards.
Reply
dachayke
| 16
#29, did you even read the fml?
Reply
Kuro_Kamen
| 12
wow, hope she wasn't looking for a relationship.
Reply
padlockd
| 9
I was going to be worried about Valentine's Day, but I think I'll be fine...
By
Haidawg
| 7
Sorry OP find a man who will treat you better
By
bitchimabunnyz33
| 13
So you spit? nice to know... "writes down on notebook"
Reply
domolovesyoshi
| 33
it would probably go down like this.
Reply
junkman6
| 22
"Sputters never win." This is a known fact, step your game up OP.
Reply
6FootUnder
| 11
So you're lesbian? Nice to know... "Writes down on notebook".
Reply
flashback_fml
| 14
What does sputting have to do with it?
Reply
bitchimabunnyz33
| 13
I think he meant spitting but im not sure...
Reply
AnOriginalName
| 19
#43, if you're really going to degrade people like that on the internet, at least get it right. It's "Spitters are quitters."
Reply
junkman6
| 22
Wow all that over an obvious autocorrect shenanigan. Had to update my iPhone OS. This new one sucks and autocorrects words for no reason. Not to mention the FML app is crashing every few minutes with this OS.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
95 - a bad workman blames his tools.
Reply
RadikulRam
| 16
@#100
No, it's just a typical apple product.
No, it's just a typical apple product.
Reply
SuperStormCindy
| 8
haha riiight
Reply
Genociiide
| 15
#95 your problem is that you have an iPhone.
By
chocolatefrog28
| 29
An African or a European swallow?
Seriously OP, you're better off without a "gem" like that guy. Buy yourself a card/candy/flowers/whatever and go have a good time with your friends instead.
Seriously OP, you're better off without a "gem" like that guy. Buy yourself a card/candy/flowers/whatever and go have a good time with your friends instead.
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
I think it would depend on the airspeed velocity of the swallow.
Reply
ClockworkTinker
| 5
and whether it could carry a coconut
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AnOriginalName
| 19
Hold up. I was under the impression that coconuts migrate.
Reply
HelloooooNurse
| 20
It could grip it by then husk.
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HelloooooNurse
| 20
*the
Stupid fingers :(
Stupid fingers :(
Reply
VonBlitzkrieg
| 27
What if there were two swallows? then they could carry the
weight
weight
Reply
\
| 28
How could a five-ounce swallow carry a one-pound coconut?
Reply
Liamj774
| 36
But African swallows are non migratory
By
jdeezy01
| 13
His next question is going to be "do you wanna start?"
Reply
jdeezyjames
| 8
I like the username man
Reply
jdeezy01
| 13
Us deezy's gotta stick together
Reply
jdeezyjames
| 8
Word haha
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Now Kiss *insert meme*
Reply
Fuaaad1994
| 31
Still a better love story than twilight
By
mario2012
| 18
At least you know how immature he is.
By
juststephhere
| 23
I hope you punched him.
Reply
NiceGuysDoWin
| 21
Why punch him? Jesus, he may be immature, but resorting to violence for a stupid joke? Good luck with the assault and battery charge, lady.
Reply
NashyzzleTheN
| 10
#124- looks like someone doesn't know what joking is
Reply
Faff
| 20
Few people on FML know what joking is.. always so sensitive!
Reply
nurchok
| 15
#7 ... in the nuts...
Reply
mccrightp
| 29
We're NOT sensitive! That's a TERRBLE, TERRIBLE (sob, gurgle, gurgle) thing to say!!!!!!
By
jdeezyjames
| 8
Maybe Cupid could change that OP.
Reply
Maddiiee3011
| 13
I don't think Cupid can fix that worthless pile of shit
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
"But Cupid got me in a chokehold"
"ba ba da da, ba ba da da"
"ba ba da da, ba ba da da"
By
abusch
| 9
Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.
Reply
Ctrl_H
| 18
That comment was so innocent.
Reply
alphabetta
| 23
As was yours. Learn to take a joke, would ya?
Reply
gabygabs
| 8
the top comment is cute and true, but this made me die laughing
By
Breegotcake
| 14
You don't need to be with a guy like him anyways but kudos for having to courage to ask.