FML : Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read...

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Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By mariana - / Saturday 8 February 2014 00:18 / Canada - Toronto

Valentine's slay

The first time we met

Love

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Top comments

By onlychildFTW | 33

#5851615 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:25

I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.

By abusch | 9

#5851628 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:30

Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.

Comments

By onlychildFTW | 33

#5851615 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:25

I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.

kayteakay | 26

#5851642 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:32

I agree. That guy is a piece of shit.

FangirlingAlways | 14

#5851662 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:37

A ton of guys at my school are like this. Way too many girls like them. It's just sad.

buttcramp | 21

#5851664 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:37

totally! A guy should like you for who you are, OP. Any sexual "extras" or "tricks" should be a bonus not a requirement.

Doritozilla | 20

#5851690 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:52

OP I'm sure it won't be long before finding someone who appreciates you for your personality. At least you don't have a crush on this guy (I hope).

kumarina | 35

#5851764 - Saturday 8 February 2014 6:48

This guy only wants sex, he won't really care about you, you deserve a lot better!!!

michaelaranda | 28

#5851832 - Saturday 8 February 2014 8:48

Well, on the bright side, OP doesn't seem super upset about this.

And OP, I applaud you for sticking up for your standards.

dachayke | 16

#5852325 - Saturday 8 February 2014 23:00

#29, did you even read the fml?

Kuro_Kamen | 12

#5852416 - Sunday 9 February 2014 2:11

wow, hope she wasn't looking for a relationship.

padlockd | 9

#5852691 - Sunday 9 February 2014 7:21

I was going to be worried about Valentine's Day, but I think I'll be fine...

By Haidawg | 7

#5851616 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:26

Sorry OP find a man who will treat you better

By bitchimabunnyz33 | 13

#5851619 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:27

So you spit? nice to know... "writes down on notebook"

domolovesyoshi | 33

#5851667 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:38

it would probably go down like this.

junkman6 | 22

#5851727 - Saturday 8 February 2014 6:18

"Sputters never win." This is a known fact, step your game up OP.

6FootUnder | 11

#5851747 - Saturday 8 February 2014 6:32

So you're lesbian? Nice to know... "Writes down on notebook".

flashback_fml | 14

#5851847 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:02

What does sputting have to do with it?

bitchimabunnyz33 | 13

#5851863 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:28

I think he meant spitting but im not sure...

AnOriginalName | 19

#5851871 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:39

#43, if you're really going to degrade people like that on the internet, at least get it right. It's "Spitters are quitters."

junkman6 | 22

#5851878 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:47

Wow all that over an obvious autocorrect shenanigan. Had to update my iPhone OS. This new one sucks and autocorrects words for no reason. Not to mention the FML app is crashing every few minutes with this OS.

onlychildFTW | 33

#5851893 - Saturday 8 February 2014 10:09

95 - a bad workman blames his tools.

RadikulRam | 16

#5851897 - Saturday 8 February 2014 10:34

@#100
No, it's just a typical apple product.

SuperStormCindy | 8

#5852102 - Saturday 8 February 2014 18:45

haha riiight

Genociiide | 15

#5853139 - Sunday 9 February 2014 19:34

#95 your problem is that you have an iPhone.

By chocolatefrog28 | 29

#5851621 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:28

An African or a European swallow?
Seriously OP, you're better off without a "gem" like that guy. Buy yourself a card/candy/flowers/whatever and go have a good time with your friends instead.

Ambient25 | 24

#5851797 - Saturday 8 February 2014 7:39

I think it would depend on the airspeed velocity of the swallow.

ClockworkTinker | 5

#5851848 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:02

and whether it could carry a coconut

AnOriginalName | 19

#5851872 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:40

Hold up. I was under the impression that coconuts migrate.

HelloooooNurse | 20

#5852034 - Saturday 8 February 2014 16:04

It could grip it by then husk.

HelloooooNurse | 20

#5852036 - Saturday 8 February 2014 16:10

*the
Stupid fingers :(

VonBlitzkrieg | 27

#5853603 - Monday 10 February 2014 5:15

What if there were two swallows? then they could carry the
weight

\ | 28

#5853728 - Monday 10 February 2014 8:54

How could a five-ounce swallow carry a one-pound coconut?

Liamj774 | 36

#6255498 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 21:43

But African swallows are non migratory

By jdeezy01 | 13

#5851622 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:28

His next question is going to be "do you wanna start?"

jdeezyjames | 8

#5851634 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:30

I like the username man

jdeezy01 | 13

#5851641 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:32

Us deezy's gotta stick together

jdeezyjames | 8

#5851663 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:37

Word haha

Ambient25 | 24

#5851882 - Saturday 8 February 2014 9:50

Now Kiss *insert meme*

Fuaaad1994 | 31

#5851921 - Saturday 8 February 2014 11:39

Still a better love story than twilight

By mario2012 | 18

#5851623 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:28

At least you know how immature he is.

By juststephhere | 23

#5851625 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:29

I hope you punched him.

NiceGuysDoWin | 21

#5852062 - Saturday 8 February 2014 17:24

Why punch him? Jesus, he may be immature, but resorting to violence for a stupid joke? Good luck with the assault and battery charge, lady.

NashyzzleTheN | 10

#5852258 - Saturday 8 February 2014 21:00

#124- looks like someone doesn't know what joking is

Faff | 20

#5854406 - Tuesday 11 February 2014 1:11

Few people on FML know what joking is.. always so sensitive!

nurchok | 15

#5856253 - Wednesday 12 February 2014 23:32

#7 ... in the nuts...

mccrightp | 28

#5890187 - Wednesday 19 March 2014 22:08

We're NOT sensitive! That's a TERRBLE, TERRIBLE (sob, gurgle, gurgle) thing to say!!!!!!

By jdeezyjames | 8

#5851626 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:29

Maybe Cupid could change that OP.

Maddiiee3011 | 13

#5851776 - Saturday 8 February 2014 7:09

I don't think Cupid can fix that worthless pile of shit

Enslaved | 36

#5851785 - Saturday 8 February 2014 7:18

"But Cupid got me in a chokehold"

"ba ba da da, ba ba da da"

By abusch | 9

#5851628 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:30

Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.

Ctrl_H | 17

#5851756 - Saturday 8 February 2014 6:43

That comment was so innocent.

alphabetta | 23

#5851784 - Saturday 8 February 2014 7:18

As was yours. Learn to take a joke, would ya?

gabygabs | 8

#5852061 - Saturday 8 February 2014 17:23

the top comment is cute and true, but this made me die laughing

By Breegotcake | 14

#5851633 - Saturday 8 February 2014 5:30

You don't need to be with a guy like him anyways but kudos for having to courage to ask.

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