By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada

Spicy
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 721
You deserved it 83 944

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

Wrong kind of blow job, champ.

You don't quite understand what a blow job is? Do you?

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

Wrong kind of blow job, champ.

How the hell did you manage that?

I mean its tempting with a finger...but a penis?

13FTW 9

These fucking one liners piss me off -___- On the other note I give you props for having the balls to stick your pecker on a fan. Even if they may be cut now, it's a great conversation starter.

Masturbation. You're doing it wrong

Yes 23- "Hi my names Dave, and last year I almost cut my penis off!" That's not awkward. Not one bit.

leogirl95 12

You sir are a wiener.

n_epic_fail 14

Hey, at least your weren't trying to have sex with fruit… you just wanted a special kind of blow-job.

flockz 19

hopefully you didn't splooge in the fan. it would be like pissing in the wind.

OP sure has a FANcy fetish...

He has a fetish for me?

I see what you did there

At least it wasn't a pencil sharpener.

I dont see how anyone could manage to get their penis in a pencil sharpener. Well thats just me.

TheRealBruce 12

This reminds me of something peter did

i love how you dont even have to hear the story behind this to know that OP deserved it lol

HetaliaFreak 10

I'd like to know how this started.

I nominate this for best comment by Boners ever. That's saying a lot. And first, even... Wow, you're on top of your game today, Boners.

Maybe he was trying to practice controlling his erections.

Streeet_hayley 6

This FML took me like 5 minutes to click on my ipod because it's so small.

Why don't you just suck his dick, 187. I nominate you to be his biggest kiss ass.

fml9595 0

192- me too, I ended up going to number two then pressing the up button!

tweetbaby14 18

Well, 170, unless he says something along the lines of "My penis chose to float into the desk-fan." Then, yes, he deserved it.

Even a desk fan can cut wood these days. Time to get rid of my DeWalt.

No no 209 get out your 18v hammer drill, get a high amp 18v power supply, hardwire to your drill. Take a metal fan blade, and attach it to some sort of shaft and place it in the chuck of your hammer drill. Put it into the high speed hammer and enjoy easy wood cutting and a nice cool breeze.

G0v3nat0r 7

195- he can't suck OP's dick because it's in ribbons

omg! me too! lol (:

You sir, brought masturbation, to a whole new level.

me too. stupid one liners.

I can totally picture that in my head... "Well if my fingers dont fit in the spaces between the bars Im sure as hell my penis wont go through, but just to be on the safe side.... Ooouch sunnuva bitch" Guess youre too overestimate yourself mate

Rachmini 10

Me too!

Wth boner, youre like the comic relief of this place.. Do you EVER Go outside??

...How the fuck?

Boner wins at FML... :0

Holy fuck that made me laugh.

nbsmatambo 2

So much win!

You don't quite understand what a blow job is? Do you?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Im pretty sure that he posted right after boners and they just thought the same thing...

gabrielbaby 9

Yup. They probably meant that op didn't get it.

he probably didn't even have a dick to begin with...

unitedfan11 0

WTF??? Why do you have your dick flying around a desk fan anyway??

leadman1989 15

2 - I think hw was auditioning for 1000 ways to day... he was so close. :p

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

My question is why his penis was by a fan anyways...

Dyson fans work pretty well lol. Jk

It's when someone blows on your penis as intercourse.

hotscar 3

Check the times that they are posted. It's less than a minute difference.

mylifepwnz 0

It takes skill to fail that badly.

gingerftw 0

Been there done that

fthislyfe 22

Do you have a penis now? Or did you cut all of it?

This ginger doesn't have a soul and a male reproductive organ. FYL

What else would you expect from a ginger kid

That's not something to floss about.

trixy81 10

Your like 10. How do you manage that?

Apparently 10 year-olds have penises now. It's a fairly recent development, but I thought you should know.

I wonder how you found that out pervert haha just jokes

xosportsgirl14x 8

141- you look about 10, as well.

codplayer2442 1

Your like 7 you have no dick fuckin faggot ass bitch

Well I bet half of these thumbs down are because you have "ginger" in your name

hawaiianfire 0

Yes, chopping the wood has always been an activity for sexually frustrated boys.

gingerftw 0

U mother fuckers really like the word ginger don't you?

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

My question is y a 10yr old has a FML account

gingerftw 0

15 u fag

Because he choppe his penis off at the age of 6 his life is royally fucked

wanna go out

QuinShadd 0

Lol

usmcUSA 0

Ginger

Awww the 10 year old learned some new big boy words!!!

damn 12 year old ginger would say that!

silver848 6

A ginger would attempt to cut his own penis off.....they have no souls remember?

gingerftw 0

What in the fucking hell is wrong with u fags I'm 15 so suck my fucking dick damn u guys fucking need to get lives Forreal

So that's what those are used for

hawaiianfire 0

Yes, ouch, indeed.

sonrisapreciosa 6

Do I even wanna know how this happened?

GraveRobber14 13

I do!

I assume it is "Cheap castration method 42: Penis in Fan"

I cam see the book in libraries already: "Vasectomy and other contraceptives for dummies".

eastsidesoldier 7

U know u wanna know

*OP locked in office* "Hmmm, how can I get out?" *OP looks at phone, desk fan, keys in jean pocket* "Hmmm, what would MacGyver do" *OP puts hand on chin and squints eyes* "Fuck it!" *drops pants and begins to fuck fan* Secretary "is everything alright in there?" OP "It worked. Help arrived. I might need this for later" *picks up dick from floor and casually strolls out* This is how I explain it.

"DIY Circumcisions" is actually selling quite well.

He wanted to be a eunich.. (that's probably spelled wrong haha..)

Llama_Face89 33

241- nope you spelled it correctly

SodaGray 0

"Hello, 911? This is quagmire........no, no it's in a fan this time."

He got this from family guy but with a fan instead of a pencil sharpener

Hot balls?!

flockz 19

not anymore. now they're cold windblown balls...

tsim_fml 0

He should've used a condom.

How would that have helped anything

greg1234567890_fml 2

HOW??

Mayjay122 7

when they say the term "whack off" it doesn't mean cut off your penis with a fan bro.......just sayin'

bfsd42 20

Your comment deserved a thumbs up until the "just sayin" part. Of course you are just saying.

Your comment deserved a thumbs up until you started to write it.

You both are idiots.. Just sayin.

Im just.... saiyan

d3adly 5

Lol this is why I love you

Mayjay122 7

I Love you too, my boyfriend who managed to find my account on fml :]

quannyboy 0

Dbz abridged.

jAbberwocky613 0

Hmmm...why were you naked...near a desk fan...that didn't have a cover..and had access to your penis?

Maybe the cover wasn't off. Maybe he just has a really small penis.

iFizzgig 11

Masochist?

Americans our fav ignorant group of people

It's actually really stuffy here (in Toronto, that is) :( it went all the up to 6degC.

Holy fuck, 6 degrees Celsius? That's practically up there in the sun! I'm surprised Canadians are even fair skinned.

That's my question

Llama_Face89 33

142- you consider 42 degrees F stuffy? Where in Canada are you from?!

thamindofme 0

nicee

They cannot give you a great blow job just a bloody hilarious one.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

It gives u both btw

biasedshooter 24

With an emphasis on the bloody