Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
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Top comments
By
every1luvsboners
| 11
Wrong kind of blow job, champ.
By
Alleged_Cranium
| 7
You don't quite understand what a blow job is? Do you?
COMMENTS
By
every1luvsboners
| 11
Wrong kind of blow job, champ.
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
How the hell did you manage that?
Reply
YayorNay
| 8
I mean its tempting with a finger...but a penis?
Reply
13FTW
| 9
These fucking one liners piss me off -___- On the other note I give you props for having the balls to stick your pecker on a fan. Even if they may be cut now, it's a great conversation starter.
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Masturbation. You're doing it wrong
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
Yes 23- "Hi my names Dave, and last year I almost cut my penis off!" That's not awkward. Not one bit.
Reply
leogirl95
| 12
You sir are a wiener.
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
Hey, at least your weren't trying to have sex with fruit… you just wanted a special kind of blow-job.
Reply
flockz
| 19
hopefully you didn't splooge in the fan. it would be like pissing in the wind.
Reply
AnonymousTroll
| 2
OP sure has a FANcy fetish...
Reply
fanceh
| 10
He has a fetish for me?
Reply
ThePopularLoner
| 0
I see what you did there
Reply
ygdrassil
| 17
At least it wasn't a pencil sharpener.
Reply
J3R3MYY
| 14
I dont see how anyone could manage to get their penis in a pencil sharpener. Well thats just me.
Reply
TheRealBruce
| 12
This reminds me of something peter did
Reply
Choose_Wisely
| 5
i love how you dont even have to hear the story behind this to know that OP deserved it lol
Reply
HetaliaFreak
| 10
I'd like to know how this started.
Reply
KMtheDrummer
| 6
I nominate this for best comment by Boners ever. That's saying a lot. And first, even... Wow, you're on top of your game today, Boners.
Reply
JCLynn
| 11
Maybe he was trying to practice controlling his erections.
Reply
Streeet_hayley
| 6
This FML took me like 5 minutes to click on my ipod because it's so small.
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
Why don't you just suck his dick, 187. I nominate you to be his biggest kiss ass.
Reply
fml9595
| 0
192- me too, I ended up going to number two then pressing the up button!
Reply
tweetbaby14
| 17
Well, 170, unless he says something along the lines of "My penis chose to float into the desk-fan." Then, yes, he deserved it.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
Even a desk fan can cut wood these days. Time to get rid of my DeWalt.
Reply
bluetorpedo
| 0
No no 209 get out your 18v hammer drill, get a high amp 18v power supply, hardwire to your drill. Take a metal fan blade, and attach it to some sort of shaft and place it in the chuck of your hammer drill. Put it into the high speed hammer and enjoy easy wood cutting and a nice cool breeze.
Reply
G0v3nat0r
| 7
195- he can't suck OP's dick because it's in ribbons
Reply
iredbone
| 10
omg! me too! lol (:
Reply
changesinme
| 0
You sir, brought masturbation, to a whole new level.
Reply
PopsicleLicker
| 0
me too. stupid one liners.
Reply
ENomine18
| 9
WIN
Reply
Sebastian_NG
| 17
I can totally picture that in my head... "Well if my fingers dont fit in the spaces between the bars Im sure as hell my penis wont go through, but just to be on the safe side.... Ooouch sunnuva bitch"
Guess youre too overestimate yourself mate
Guess youre too overestimate yourself mate
Reply
Rachmini
| 10
Me too!
Reply
r0ckPrinc3sS
| 0
.
Reply
mightymart
| 5
Wth boner, youre like the comic relief of this place.. Do you EVER Go outside??
Reply
scarletdragonfly
| 5
...How the fuck?
Reply
stephan18
| 23
Boner wins at FML... :0
Reply
Rey24
| 2
Holy fuck that made me laugh.
Reply
nbsmatambo
| 2
So much win!
By
Alleged_Cranium
| 7
You don't quite understand what a blow job is? Do you?
Reply
Muffin_Man_321
| 0
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
RetardedChipmunk
| 7
Im pretty sure that he posted right after boners and they just thought the same thing...
Reply
gabrielbaby
| 9
Yup. They probably meant that op didn't get it.
Reply
skullcandifiedDJ
| 5
he probably didn't even have a dick to begin with...
Reply
unitedfan11
| 0
WTF??? Why do you have your dick flying around a desk fan anyway??
Reply
leadman1989
| 15
2 - I think hw was auditioning for 1000 ways to day... he was so close.
:p
:p
Reply
mrs_bruno_mars
| 14
*die
Reply
Xx_Dakota_xX
| 1
My question is why his penis was by a fan anyways...
Reply
TheDeadlyTurtle
| 7
Dyson fans work pretty well lol. Jk
Reply
death_dolphin24
| 0
It's when someone blows on your penis as intercourse.
Reply
hotscar
| 3
Check the times that they are posted. It's less than a minute difference.
Reply
mylifepwnz
| 0
It takes skill to fail that badly.
By
gingerftw
| 0
Been there done that
Reply
fthislyfe
| 22
Do you have a penis now? Or did you cut all of it?
Reply
HatefulPilot
| 0
This ginger doesn't have a soul and a male reproductive organ.
FYL
FYL
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
What else would you expect from a ginger kid
Reply
ScarletBloom
| 14
That's not something to floss about.
Reply
trixy81
| 10
Your like 10. How do you manage that?
Reply
Daralea
| 21
Apparently 10 year-olds have penises now. It's a fairly recent development, but I thought you should know.
Reply
TheDeadlyTurtle
| 7
I wonder how you found that out pervert haha just jokes
Reply
xosportsgirl14x
| 8
141- you look about 10, as well.
Reply
codplayer2442
| 1
Your like 7 you have no dick fuckin faggot ass bitch
Reply
gregorrok1
| 0
Well I bet half of these thumbs down are because you have "ginger" in your name
Reply
cup_of_squirrels
| 6
You're
Reply
hawaiianfire
| 0
Yes, chopping the wood has always been an activity for sexually frustrated boys.
Reply
gingerftw
| 0
U mother fuckers really like the word ginger don't you?
Reply
Xx_Dakota_xX
| 1
My question is y a 10yr old has a FML account
Reply
gingerftw
| 0
15 u fag
Reply
spartan456
| 0
Because he choppe his penis off at the age of 6 his life is royally fucked
Reply
missmia18
| 0
wanna go out
Reply
QuinShadd
| 0
Lol
Reply
usmcUSA
| 0
Ginger
Reply
hannahfran45
| 6
Awww the 10 year old learned some new big boy words!!!
Reply
skikid
| 0
damn 12 year old ginger would say that!
Reply
silver848
| 6
A ginger would attempt to cut his own penis off.....they have no souls remember?
Reply
gingerftw
| 0
What in the fucking hell is wrong with u fags I'm 15 so suck my fucking dick damn u guys fucking need to get lives Forreal
By
NoLimitzzGaming
| 7
Ouch
Reply
max_wilder
| 9
So that's what those are used for
Reply
hawaiianfire
| 0
Yes, ouch, indeed.
By
sonrisapreciosa
| 6
Do I even wanna know how this happened?
Reply
GraveRobber14
| 13
I do!
Reply
RavagedSoul
| 0
I assume it is "Cheap castration method 42: Penis in Fan"
Reply
Fruit_Dealer
| 9
I cam see the book in libraries already: "Vasectomy and other contraceptives for dummies".
Reply
eastsidesoldier
| 7
U know u wanna know
Reply
Savra_fml
| 17
*OP locked in office* "Hmmm, how can I get out?"
*OP looks at phone, desk fan, keys in jean pocket* "Hmmm, what would MacGyver do"
*OP puts hand on chin and squints eyes* "Fuck it!" *drops pants and begins to fuck fan*
Secretary "is everything alright in there?"
OP "It worked. Help arrived. I might need this for later" *picks up dick from floor and casually strolls out*
This is how I explain it.
*OP looks at phone, desk fan, keys in jean pocket* "Hmmm, what would MacGyver do"
*OP puts hand on chin and squints eyes* "Fuck it!" *drops pants and begins to fuck fan*
Secretary "is everything alright in there?"
OP "It worked. Help arrived. I might need this for later" *picks up dick from floor and casually strolls out*
This is how I explain it.
Reply
Daralea
| 21
"DIY Circumcisions" is actually selling quite well.
Reply
mehblakerawr
| 0
He wanted to be a eunich.. (that's probably spelled wrong haha..)
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
241- nope you spelled it correctly
Reply
SodaGray
| 0
"Hello, 911? This is quagmire........no, no it's in a fan this time."
Reply
mustafa_fml
| 0
He got this from family guy but with a fan instead of a pencil sharpener
By
Enslaved
| 36
Hot balls?!
Reply
flockz
| 19
not anymore. now they're cold windblown balls...
Reply
tsim_fml
| 0
He should've used a condom.
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
How would that have helped anything
By
greg1234567890_fml
| 2
HOW??
Reply
NomOnShroomz
| 14
MAGIC!!
By
Mayjay122
| 7
when they say the term "whack off" it doesn't mean cut off your penis with a fan bro.......just sayin'
Reply
bfsd42
| 20
Your comment deserved a thumbs up until the "just sayin" part. Of course you are just saying.
Reply
zaveeshaveesh3
| 7
Your comment deserved a thumbs up until you started to write it.
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J3R3MYY
| 14
You both are idiots.. Just sayin.
Reply
Hypershadow21
| 0
Im just.... saiyan
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d3adly
| 5
Lol this is why I love you
Reply
Mayjay122
| 7
I Love you too, my boyfriend who managed to find my account on fml :]
Reply
quannyboy
| 0
Dbz abridged.
By
jAbberwocky613
| 0
Hmmm...why were you naked...near a desk fan...that didn't have a cover..and had access to your penis?
Reply
bachooka
| 5
Maybe the cover wasn't off. Maybe he just has a really small penis.
Reply
iFizzgig
| 11
Masochist?
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ThePopularLoner
| 0
Americans our fav ignorant group of people
Reply
Daralea
| 21
It's actually really stuffy here (in Toronto, that is) :( it went all the up to 6degC.
Reply
iliketurdles
| 7
Holy fuck, 6 degrees Celsius? That's practically up there in the sun! I'm surprised Canadians are even fair skinned.
Reply
EmilyStrauch
| 8
That's my question
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
142- you consider 42 degrees F stuffy? Where in Canada are you from?!
Reply
thamindofme
| 0
nicee
By
Clubkicker_fml
| 0
They cannot give you a great blow job just a bloody hilarious one.
Reply
Xx_Dakota_xX
| 1
It gives u both btw
Reply
biasedshooter
| 24
With an emphasis on the bloody