Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
"Well, I've got to commend you on still going out in public with such bizarre and specific paranoid fantasies. It must be very difficult for you to see other people and fight against all the stereotype-driven fears that flood your mind. You're quite a hero."
It's amazing how little the elderly care about how rude they are... Will we be just as blunt when we're that age? There's definitely more fun in life that way!
I work at a retirement home and I hear these things (and worse) all the time. Don't take it personally OP!
I don't think she was literally worried about OP eating the groceries; she was making a comment about her weight. I'm not sure what you mean about her being serious.
My dream is to open a restaurant (grill and bar), and if I do, I'm gonna post a sign that says "The customer is always right (except when they're a dumbass)"
"Well, I've got to commend you on still going out in public with such bizarre and specific paranoid fantasies. It must be very difficult for you to see other people and fight against all the stereotype-driven fears that flood your mind. You're quite a hero."
I would have said something along the lines of 'and I think you'd go nicely with some fava beans and a nice chianti.' I know it makes you seem like a cannibal, but if she wants to go there, you take it to the next level.
Otherwise, it'd be "Clean up on Aisle 5!"