By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 379
You deserved it 3 221

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Fart in your hand and sniff it. If that doesn't scare them away, start talking about how you need to take a monster shit but the bathrooms are occupied. Then suggest taking a shit in the vomit bag and make it look like you're about to actually do it.

You should totally creep them out for doing that. Just stick your hand down your pants and jack off.

Comments

ahh haha have fun :)

Oh, she will. Ha ha I guess that the lady with the toe nails would have got a piece of my mind, but the man with the gas would get some smart ass comments from me :)

Fucking people. You don't clip your nails in public, especially on a bus or in a plane. You just don't.

The lady with the toe nails would not be allowed on the plane. Thus this FML is a fail.

oh :( well it's still pretty funny :)

I told OP I was sorry! I was just really gassy that day!

wat if the toe nails got in the cheese

OP would eat it, right?

Don't worry after 16 hours she probably got used to it.

you'll survive (:

urn guys? last I heard, or went on a plane (last week) you couldn't actually use the internet mid-flight D:

Some airlines sell Wi-Fi services mid flight. I travel a lot :))

ahh fair do's. I travel alot, and I didn't know this! I even go business and 1st class and I didn't know this :3 hahaa I'll have to check that out!

sorry about that go do something very obnoxious i am sure that will help fyl

I agree, you should barf on the toe nail clipper while she is sleeping then ask " do you feel better now? " when she awakes. Lol

make eye contact and keep it while slowly reaching over and squeezing their inner thigh then make your eyes roll to the back of your head and let out a slight moan. they'll either move you or one of them. if you stay repeat on other person.

114, made my day

win. that's genius

How'd she get the nail clippers past airport security? That old woman is ninja.

speaking of Asians.... atleast op wasnt flying to japan

that sucks really bad

You kind of look like Mila Kunis in that picture.

hmmm...she kinda does....take it as a compliment lol

a fatter version

You should totally creep them out for doing that. Just stick your hand down your pants and jack off.

hahaha...wait whaaa??

made my fucking day LOL

since when are toenail clippers allowed on a plane, isn't that considered a weapon now a day?

Yep. That's why FML's get me angry.. nothing these people post is real.. It's all something they made up in their head or got an idea from another FML.

Why was my comment moderated? All I said is that it is impossible to bring toe nail clippers on a plane!

Uhhh... Anyways...OP why wouldn't you tell the woman to stop and say something to the man to go take a shot in the bathroom or something.

fyl that's gotta stink

no pun intended :)

how do you know? ;D

oh you can tell, when there's no smiley they didn't mean it for a pun :)

Report the nail clipper lady as a potential terrorist. Nail clippers are banned from carry on. Maybe they'll emergency land the plane and you'll be able to catch a flight that they're not on. It that or ask for a blanket and Dutch oven the man next to you until he passes out.

I don't understand how she got through security with them. Don't buy it.

Fart in your hand and sniff it. If that doesn't scare them away, start talking about how you need to take a monster shit but the bathrooms are occupied. Then suggest taking a shit in the vomit bag and make it look like you're about to actually do it.

buy a gas mask, airports sell everything!

Do they have Iodine pills too?