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By Jstark - / Friday 4 January 2019 12:00 / United States - Dublin
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By  chosha_fml  |  25

Does “not in a position start anything” mean you’re both in a relationship? If so, get your own side of that sorted out. Because right now you’re not being fair to your partner and even if it’s a relationship you should leave, your relationship with the coworker (if you had one) would start wrong if it started with cheating.

If she’s in a good relationship she doesn’t want to leave, you need to figure your feelings out and either be her friend or end the friendship. You falling in love is not her problem if she’s only ever been a friend to you.

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By  chosha_fml  |  25

Does “not in a position start anything” mean you’re both in a relationship? If so, get your own side of that sorted out. Because right now you’re not being fair to your partner and even if it’s a relationship you should leave, your relationship with the coworker (if you had one) would start wrong if it started with cheating.

If she’s in a good relationship she doesn’t want to leave, you need to figure your feelings out and either be her friend or end the friendship. You falling in love is not her problem if she’s only ever been a friend to you.

By  power_in_the_now  |  8

Isn’t this the second time you have wrote on here about this? I don’t understand the issue... if the coworker is in a relationship and so are you- then you need to accept that and just move on. If you ever do anything about it then that friendship would be over. I know that bc if my coworker confessed “love” to me... and I’m someone who is open to talking about everything with my friends... I’d stop talking to then bc I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt my other half no matter who “good” of friends I am with my coworker.

By  xxWTFxx1981  |  18

A long long time ago I had a similar situation. My advice either go for it and directly ask her out/express feelings or dump friendship and end it now. You will never get past that feeling and it will eat away at you years after the friendship will most likely come to an end anyway trust me its torture and worse you will always wonder did she feel same way.

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  RinoaHeartilly  |  36

You know, it is possible to accept that some feelings will never lead anywhere and let them go. You don't have to ruin a friendship just because you can't bang someone.

By  ohsnapword  |  21

Welcome to the Friend Zone. Population: you.

By  Jstark  |  1

OP here. We are both single but neither of us is prepared for anything romantic or anything else. That's just how our lives are now. I didn't clarify that.

I've done what I can to move past it. Not really working but I'll be fine. I'm not going to say a word about my feelings. She's smart enough to know anyway. I'm just bitching of course. It sucks hard hence the FML aspect. Suffering in near silence. I'm great at that in many ways.

Work place ethics...of course I'm not violating that. Anything said will be outside work when we hang out. Trust me I'm not about to lose her friendship over this. And frankly if it were just about getting laid then I can take care of myself just fine. Theres a lot more to this and to me than just that. I know that nothing can happen now. Maybe later. Maybe never. I'm driving myself up the wall bitching about it. So I just needed a vent.

"Be still my dreamer's heart!" And all that other quasi-shakesperean bullshit. So yes I deserve it for letting my heart wander away. If it came up now I'd friend zone myself knowing that for us now is the wrong time.

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While being in this position sucks, it’s respectful of you to understand that neither of you are ready and it’s not worth trying to force it. Whether it’s with your coworker or someone else, I’m sure you’ll make someone a good partner when you’re ready.

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  Slypiecutiee  |  6

Reading through these comments, I was confused to why people were assuming this fml had to do with infidelity or something of the sort--isn't it clear that what he means is that neither of them are ready for a relationship yet (be it from still recovering from an old one, or extraneous life circumstances, whatever). Then I saw OP's follow-up and was like, ha! I'm right :P Maybe it was just obvious to me because I have a sort of similar situation going on.
We'll get through it somehow, eventually, I'm sure, OP. Think about counseling :)

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