By frustrated - 03/09/2012 20:20 - United Kingdom - Gosport

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 19 689
You deserved it 4 856

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I'm assuming this splinter was the size of a twig? Maybe you should leave this kind of stuff to the professionals, genius.

You should listen to him, he's a doctor.


I'm assuming this splinter was the size of a twig? Maybe you should leave this kind of stuff to the professionals, genius.

You should listen to him, he's a doctor.

Sounds like you're trying to drum up business doc

However! There may have been an embarrassing story behind this 'twig' and how it became one with OP's hand. That going to the doctor would cause further embarrassment!

I've done the same thing as OP but my splinter was a nearly microscopic metal shard. It hurt enough that ripping open my skin was less painful. :)


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Gee, 35. I've never seen someone kill a joke that badly.


it was never meant to be a joke it was meant to be a real world depiction of what might happen if op where to see doc b. But your right how it would have been a bad joke

Uhh, okay?

Elena - I'm sure splinters would get seen by an ER doc. I am NOT an ER doc. I have seen a lot of broken glass embedded in lacerations, though. That's fun to remove!

65- Like your profile picture?

Hey Doc, I have a question about your profile pic. What is that object embedded near the calcaneus bone?

I prefer using a chainsaw as means of removing any foreign objects lodged in my skin. Not only does the pain go away by slicing through the nerves, you cant get a splinter again because there's nithin left to splinter into.

Holy shit my post is a grammatical nightmare

#82: It's still better than some I've seen on this site.

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105 Prepare to get downvoted to hell..

105 How the fuck do you know if he is or not? Go to his blog and all further questions should be answered. I have never seen anyone stupid enough to fake their employment on this site

cjack188 - Yeah, that DocBastard guy is nothing more than a self-important, self-righteous douche! If you have any questions regarding my credentials, please PM me.

Trust him he's a doctor

Gotta love how everyone over reacts on FML, people need to get a life...

115 Says the one who loves Harry Potter ;)

Harry Potter's awesome. Having a like doesn't make you lifeless

117 - Fml is our "like." From what I hear, having a like doesn't make you lifeless.

Zahmed17 0

Shut up bitch

i wish my doctor was as cool and witty as Docbastard

Bonzer 2

I can't even imagine how that could've happened.

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Terrorists. (Sorry, I just felt the urge to say it since it was George W. Bush's excuse for everything.) l=^P

Psych101 9

17- And a damn good excuse. I can't tell you how many times terrorists have tried to prod me to death with small pieces of wood, in the hopes that the splinters would get me.

Dude, seriously? Please limit political comments to forums and websites devoted to such opinions.

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Sorry… it was meant as a sarcastic joke. He is something to joke about, right? (I'm too you to fully understand but he was a bad president, no?)

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

#26 I meant Young not you. :X

What's there not to get? OP dug, tore, and dug some more until he got the splinter out, and indirectly ripped up his hand.

Perhaps, though I'm contemplating, the OP had the splinter on his dominant hand and was extremely poor at coordinating the tweezers in his less dominant hand and ended up taking out more than just the splinter. Ouch.

bigtaytay 13

Yeah I'm having a hard time imagining how it could happen. Unless he calls tweezers is his word for scissors...or chainsaw

Link5794 18

Have you ever tried to get out a tiny splinter? It's not easy.

magicman13 9


Well, that might be the reason it's on FML. I may be wrong tho. But what do I know? I'm only 12.

Bonzer 2

You are clearly 13.

Psych101 9

12- You can't blame him for not knowing his age, he's only 12. I think.

Why do people get the impression that I'm 13. I'm turning 13 September 19th. Gifts are appreciated. Just checked my profile. To the account settings!

Oh my God. I'm too young for FML.

I think the mods had a hand in comment 41 haha.

Tell them you wrestled a shark

Sharks make everything sound cooler...

No. Tell them that you wrestled a shark for a strip of bacon.

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

No, tell them you wrestled a bear for a nutritious apple.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

No tell them you played a trick on big foot with Jack Links beef jerky. Messin' with Sasquatch.

No, tell them... Oh who cares

No, this is Patrick!

Removing splinters on your own is dangerous. I have people who take care of stuff like that. My parents.

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

I have a splinter in my foot that's been there for years now. (Of course I can't feel it anymore but if I look close enough I can see it) And a lead pencil point in my right palm. (That too if I look close enough is still visible). Point is, you gotta take em out. If not they'll stay there.

Well youre 13. This guy has a job and im assuming hes over 18 so i doubt hes going to ask his parents.

23- Well there is an dirty, evil, spawn from hell I'm sometime taken to whenever I'm physically disabled in any way to diagnose and treat problems, such as splinters. It is called... The Doctor. Dun dun dun!

#29: Don't let DocBastard see your comment...

Why would I care if DocB

Was I thumbed down because nobody got the joke? The next comment explained it pretty well.

*shakes head mournfully* Poor Socks...I warned him too late it seems. Should we attempt a rescue mission? Edit: Socks you're alive!

69- All Doc did was show me pictures of his recent patient who had a dangerous case of Fournier's Gangrene. Don't know what it is? Google image it.

smart kid.....

missamazinggg 12

I'm 18 and I still go to my momma when I'm hurt.

Jesus, I have yet to see a single one of saintsrocksocks' comments be thumbed up. Perhaps 13 year olds should keep to their video games and whatnot.

I don't know if he's legitimately just twelve and retarded at posting or the worst, worst troll ever. Stop trying kid, or come back in six years when.. You know, you don't rely on mummy and daddy anymore for fucking splinters jesus.

Hmmmm.... When I was thirteen, my father would tell me to "rub some dirt on it and quit being a pussy." Just sayin'....

97 - first of all, he's thirteen. Second of all what are you doing, not being attached to a butt. I mean you are an asshole after all.

UltimateGIRness 16

Ouch.that sucks op,but don't be too embarrassed,it ain't all your fault


Who else is to blame in this situation?

42 - tree's and their fuckin splinter giving ways.

No, it was that tree from hog warts. It attacked you and you slew it, but it left a battle scar in the form of a splinter. Wear it proudly!

Make something up!

Or wear a bandaid.

Daffodilly 14

You should be embarrassed. It was just a splinter, no need to maim yourself. Those things usually come out on their own in a few days anyway.

You can actually get an infection that can lead to much worse situations if you leave the wood in your hand. A lot of the time, it doesn't come out on its own. It's very dangerous to just leave it.

Put a band aid on it.


someone must have been very determined to rip out that splinter, even if it caused a flesh wound in the process. either way its a lose-lose situation. fyl