By Lionman - 05/04/2012 05:11 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 296
You deserved it 2 720

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mduffy08 8

It really can't get any more awkward.

Give him a lengthy description about the mating patterns between you and his daughter


mduffy08 8

It really can't get any more awkward.

Yea it could, he could have said "would you like me to show you"....

Torva_fml 16

Or... "here, I'll go get my wife. She can tell you all about it!"

blackheart24 10

Still a better love story than twilight.

Birdie_Sage 0

Just nod and walk away...

That awkward moment when he brings his wife into the room and she's a lioness.

Lions only mate in quick short bursts anyway. They have sex for hours but with many different lionesses.

King of the jungle? Not

Lions don't live in jungles.

Dad FTW! But I'll never look at the 'Can Feel the Love Tonight?' scene of The Lion King the same way again...

That's one of the best scenes in Lion King. It's crucial to the structure of the movie

kissmybuttque 0

Hahaha! Neither will I....

The phrase "hakuna matata" actually means lion sodomy in the african language of yoruba. its used to coax their homosexual mate into relaxing and having butt sex, hence "no worries"

I hope you didn't mention that kind of details about yourself to him as well OP

He better not let the lion hear him say that. It'll prove that to him that it's the REAL king of the jungle.

Whoa that makes no sense. It'll prove to him that*. My bad.

Tigers are king of the jungle. Lions don't live in jungles. :)

51 - It's my mistake, not my bad. I'm no grammar Nazi, but that is one of my pet peeves.

Quality time.

Love your picture

He also learned how to draw a cross on his mate's forehead with his semen and whisper "Simba" in their ear.

Give him a lengthy description about the mating patterns between you and his daughter

Gondile 4

At least he wasn't lyin'

ifoundalaska 11

I would like to know more about the barbed penis

Birdie_Sage 0

Go meet a lion.

The barbs of a lion's penis are quite sharp and jagged. With the appearance of a long fish hook, the lion's penis has been known to rip through flesh and bone, and it is sometimes used as a weapon.

So I guess lions are real kinky huh?! Who knew... 0.o

That is exactly what I thought. So I youtubed it. Ouch.