By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 982
You deserved it 71 656

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Top comments

One word: idiot

plantfood 4

Skin yourself? Hahaha


plantfood 4

Skin yourself? Hahaha

AaronTkr 0

pics or it didn't.... what the fuck am i thinking i don't want pics of that..

Looks like you started early on your sex-change operation

Op needs to learn his limit, obviously... I grimaced just at the thought....

I was about to shave when I saw this... now I don't think I can... OP you're retarded.

No masturbating/sex for a while hahaha

santarosakid 5

shit balls!!!!

Ballsy move... I personally try to keep any and all blades away from my genitalia :D

blanquito 1

Hopefully you cut your balls in a way that makes it so you can never reproduce

CattyPurry 0

use a band-aid. band-aid's fix everything. trust me. i'm a doctor (;

NastyNinja31 0

Look on the bright side when u rub cream on the it will feel good

You should start a neutering business. I'm pretty sure you just killed millions of future children possibilities in your baby makers

Which wounds the physical or the psychological?

The relationship between a man and his balls is like no other. The wounds may turn to scars, but ur balls will never hate you. He will stay true to you no matter what. Thru ur ups and downs. Take it easy and feel better you stone cold fox.

75- Obviously, both. I'm thinking it is more on the psychological side. He's mentally scarred X_X

jayer_hooo 0

rofl at 82

Whoa Buffalo Bill... Were you playing "goodbye horses"? Lol

DaslovesTrack 2

haha this is hilarious

I shrank a few inches when I read this...

juicedboi 7

Dip them in a bowl of dettol, then look at yourself in the mirror and ask why you listened to advice on FML about your "love spuds". Also while I do believe tequila gets the best of a lot of us, you are still a moron.

Sir... have you been shaving tonight? :D

Pic + comment = amazing

No more one-night-stands for you

andy231245 4

if I had a nickel for everytime that's happened...

You would have a nickel.

Well he has a vagina now times are hard self operations is the way to go

maz255 10

46- reading your profile always brightens up my day, theres a LOT of smiley faces on it!

PrimeStarscream 30

OP is an idiot!

Itttts my dick in a box!

148 Your forehead is massive.

56: I love ur pic! And I wish I could be a doctor bc eminem said he needs one! Lol

be123 6

Haha I had to find 148 just to look

Jonscarl 0

Sounds like you just originally just wanted to get shit faced and then decided to shave

So what does a human testicle actually look like outside the sack?

ravensterling 0

Sounds like a good plan

monstaber 6

lol first

Mmm close but just shy of the mark. Better luck next time?

One word: idiot

eminemchick 19

3 might u be dwight schrute from the office?

flockz 19

"Today, i was on my shelf, just minding my own shit, when a drunk bastard walked by me and bought me. I was so excited that i was finally goin to be used that i sharpened my blades in anticipation. When i got back to this bastard's threshhold, i realized the true purpose of his buying me. He was going to use me as a means of masturbation. You can believe me that i fought back . Fuck him."

69- you made my day

johnson94 5

girls will probably think you are emo and you cut your sack when you're upset... disturbing 0.o

It seems like a good idea to drive a car with your feet too OP, but that doesn't mean you should try it. You deserved it.

63, no he isn't. That picture is clearly from at least 10 years ago. Maybe 20.

Since when does it seem like a good idea to drive a car with your feet?

wannbaussiegurl 4

I agree although I'd go with. "DUMB FUCK"

daysgoby902 6


everybodyluvsMEN 0

This may sound weird, but what are you supposed to use if not a straight razor?

jorrrdddinnn 1

at least you were numb. :)

A razor is your average razor. A straight razor - also known as a cut-throat razor - is pretty much just a blade.

maz255 10

i think 4 was not tryong to be a happy face, but a win 5 internets if you get it

everybodyluvsMEN 0

Oh ok I get it

Omg 266 is an imposter boners! Burn him at the stake!

Tequila was a good idea. The whole shaving part... Not so much.

profile is soo weird lol

kara2996 0

tequila makes you do some stupid shit that's for sure...

proxxX069069 7

Oh yeah te-kill-ya will really mess with you lol

DrumMajor 5

He should have "shaved" himself the trouble and not gotten drunk in the first place!

79- I'm not sure what you mean? Please clarify.

I only shave when I'm fucked up I don't see the issue here

Or drank responsibly and not decided he was an 18th century barber who could shave his shit with a straight razor. Just because you get shitfaced doesn't turn you into a stupid niggerxD

DCFan 9

Count your blessings.. At least you still have your penis.

Lol is it weird that I imagined that baby in your profile pic saying that? Haha.

KillerSong 11

good point #7 lol

I just shuddered thinking of having ur dick cut off

You don't know that.

LadyTammyA 0

Dude! You should SERIOUSLY give up drinking!

He doesn't, your mother does.

No really thank u sherlock

8 is right. If you're doing dumb ass things like that then you should throw in the towel.

CommonSenseKarma 17

Everyone seems to be voting down comments against alcohol. Apparently, everyone's a dumbass. ~Common Sense.

if everyone lstened to that comment, the world would be a complete wreck

110- sir, the world is already a wreck, and I do not see alcohol consumption improving it.

nikkilorenz7 5

funny, i always seem to read burried comments... just to see the stupidity people put these days.

fmlluver1415 6

110 I do not get how that would be o.0

drinking is never the problem! :-/

as in it would be inside out my point is, more then it already is.

idontcare8l 3

105 - docter zoy berg dog! .... no just me , but hes a pretty awsome dog though ( dunno how to spell so dont bother grammer nazi-ing )

LadyTammyA 0

My comment against drinking was directed at OP specifically...not the drinking public in general...! If an individual is too stupid to know that they have limits they shouldn't cross, they should NOT drink. Clearly this point has escaped the limited mind capabilities of the majority...society at large is so screwed...

dtang 0


MrBoredGuy 1

Chicks dig scars

Bruce_Lee 0


Yeah, scars are sexy xP

cheeser9 0


And shrapnel ( if you dont know the quote then dont bother)

creedaddict 9

Pour some tequila on it lol

And don't forget the salt.

free2speak 14

and lime.

free2speak 14

and lime.

free2speak 14

and lime.

free2speak 14

and lime.

This is just a reminder, I'm not sure if you forgot. Don't forget to add the lime.

123jade456 0

wow people these days...

Especially ones with stupid profile pictures of birds..

maz255 10

totally and how about the fucktards with profile pictures of dogs?...absolutely ridiculous...