Why toilet paper?

In case of a mess.

#34, The real question here is why not?

No point. The roach would survive.

OP if you do burn the car, remember: cool guys don't look at explosions.

Love the way OP says 'long drive home' like damn I would wanna make that trip as fast as possible GIMME A SPEED BOOST

#30 Said cool guy doesn't see the roach coming in at ramming speed right behind him...

The panic begins when it disappears not when it appears.

It was inside the car, hence it now being lost inside the dark car.

Buy it did say that it clicked across his windshield

Windshields have two sides.

Misread the FML. It happens...

Misunderstood*

"I don't always fly, but when I do I scare the shit out of everybody."

they're like grasshoppers, they don't use em much but when they do, you better make like a flock of seagulls and run so far away.

Or an actual flock of seagulls come and eat them.

never said they were, I said they seldom use their wings

and if you see a 3 inch bug flying at you, you aren't going to say, hey that's a grasshopper

Cockroaches don't have wings. Palmetto bugs do though. They look like cockroaches.

But it's the exact opposite going through OP's mind XD.

Well, they are kind of perfect species. The one which survived through eras where other species got wiped out. They can live on very little food and bloody fucking survive with the head cut of for over a month. You are screwed OP. Just pray it doesn't reproduce in your car (Evil laugh).

That comment made my day