Love: Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his... - FML

By I Know How to Pick'em - 16/11/2015 12:25 - Canada - Beaverton

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 227

You deserved it 2 567

Walk on the wild side

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 09/04/2019 12:00

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 216

Didn't see ya there

By mbrooke - 23/03/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 167

You deserved it 102 329

Whatcha been up to?

By Just another Dude - 02/10/2017 13:00

Today, I spilled vanilla yogurt on my pants while eating breakfast, but I forgot to clean it up. It left a very conspicuous white stain on my pants, that was there the entire day. I only noticed it when I looked in the mirror after getting home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 889

You deserved it 937

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 23:21 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to give up going to a therapist because it was too expensive and my parents couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, a girl in my class is getting a therapist for her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 901

You deserved it 1 676

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 723

You deserved it 2 818

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 12:07 - Sweden

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 841

You deserved it 32 518

By just_friends - 27/10/2010 17:19 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 3 575

By Peter - 25/11/2010 10:25

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 779

You deserved it 2 829

By OL2R - 17/04/2012 08:29 - United States - Somerville

Today, my best friend texted me saying she is determined to find out what skank her brother is sneaking around with. I've been secretly dating her brother for months; apparently I'm the skank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 063

You deserved it 39 180

By babysheets - 17/03/2012 16:22 - Uruguay

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 4 340

On the rocks

By leogs23 - 26/01/2021 10:59

Today, my fiancée is convinced that I just want to marry her to get a green card, so she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 669

By Anonymous - 23/11/2010 15:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 604

You deserved it 2 760

Love costs a fortune

By Philip Seth Camps - 22/05/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my now ex-fiancé was still married to her ex throughout the entire relationship. What I didn't realize was that I ended up paying for the divorce, and 3 months later she got married to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 120

By sheilob - 24/03/2012 23:06 - Australia - Camden

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 533

You deserved it 6 284

Drawing a blank

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 08:01

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 74

By Matt - 12/08/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 985

You deserved it 2 663

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I got a well paying job that requires me to drive around and present a product to potential customers. After going out for a victory meal with friends, I came home to find my car broken into, and my GPS stolen. I need it for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 4 357

By wut - 05/08/2012 05:23 - United States

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 3 489

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 02:00

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 091

You deserved it 364

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 16:29 - United States - Cass Lake

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 373

You deserved it 3 019

By kisyfrot - 18/12/2008 03:38 - France

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 255

You deserved it 27 044

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer dumped a hot chocolate on me and yelled, saying it wasn't his order. The order actually belonged to a 4-year-old boy with the same name who started screaming when he didn't get his chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 763

You deserved it 514

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 317

You deserved it 3 093

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal, and I get a call saying "your car was just hit by a tree!" I said "yeah, right", and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walks in and tells me that my car is totaled. I then went and stood in the rain watching a tree get cut off my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 6 652

By CutestBoysEver - 30/10/2012 01:30 - United States - Fruita

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 651

You deserved it 2 906

By tdtf - 16/03/2016 09:11 - Germany - Neuburg

Today, the company I work for decided to herald the step to becoming fully digital by hanging physical passive-aggressive flyers everywhere, urging everyone to go digital. Might as well have written, "Save the trees" on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 724

You deserved it 1 487

By Makeitdance - 11/05/2014 14:46 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 388

You deserved it 5 032

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 2 964

Panic!

By dusty - 06/12/2018 15:30

Today, I picked my baby up from my babysitter's house. As I was getting him ready for bed, I saw blood and immediately went into a panic, rushing to the hospital and trying to contact her to see if my baby fell and she didn't tell me. Turns out it was just hot Cheeto dust mixed with drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 162

You deserved it 1 739

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 974

You deserved it 3 590

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 53 874

By ireallylikecats - 22/04/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 223

You deserved it 2 564

By Trinity - 19/11/2012 22:37 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 343

You deserved it 2 557

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 101

You deserved it 7 722

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 462

You deserved it 2 301

By shecrieseverytimeIremindher - 07/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I looked at the revenue from my Etsy shop. After hours and hours of hard work, I was ecstatic to find that I made about $560 so far. That is, until I remembered that it all went to my mom's bank account and I paid all the fees out of my own pocket. And yes, she won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 1 610

By Embarrassed daughter.. - 01/02/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 012

You deserved it 6 910

By A. - 14/10/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 232

You deserved it 3 578

By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 325

You deserved it 31 472

By Anonymous - 12/05/2011 04:41

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 991

You deserved it 27 719

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Top comments

UnidentifiedFun 37

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:29

I don't wanna be one of those people with the quick "Dump him" comments, but ...dump him

Internetflakes 13

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:35

Dump and expose him!!! However, just don't interfere with the poor woman and her child though. I feel so bad for you and the other woman, she's probably engaged/married or just a mother.

Comments

ThePaperDragon 31

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:24

Well, at least you know now! Steer clear of him!

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 1:31

I gotta say. Brave move on the friend's part. Date him.

MrBlackledge 12

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 9:34

It's rare that friends don't close ranks when something like this happens so good on the friend.

2C0OL4SCH0OL 17

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:24

Wow dump him immediately well at least you aren't married to him, could've been worse

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 1:09

It's good to always look on the bright side!

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:26

if he is willing to keep such major secrets from you, you need to get out of the relationship.

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 1:45

I think cheating on someone is much more then a major secret....

anonymuse_fml 31

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 2:21

The FML doesn't say how long OP had been with her boyfriend. If they had been together 8 months or less, it doesn't necessarily mean the boyfriend cheated.

ellabellaboom 24

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 7:18

#44, it wouldn't really be as bad if the other girl wasn't his pregnant GIRLFRIEND...that to me sounds like he cheated.

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 8:49

#66: Well, these are OP's words. Maybe she just call her is "girlfriend" because she is pregnant. But anyway, thing that could defend that guy would be for him to be separated from this girl and to have been involved with OP for a few time. Becaue obviously, bringing up your past too fast in a relationship is also a nice way to make it more complicated.

Ashamed_Sister 60

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 12:17

OP didn’t know about her boyfriend‘s son and his pregnant girlfriend but his friends knew. There is no innocent reason for him keeping such important aspects of his life a secret from his girlfriend even though these aspects are not that much of a secret. She might think he is her boyfriend but he doesn’t treat her the same way. It rather sounds as if he sees her as a side chick.

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:27

Wowza. I hope you told him to shove it!

teapotrevolt 27

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:28

Wow that's incredibly scandalous! And not cool of this boyfriend at all. Hope you can recover from this, OP!

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:29

At least you know I guess

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:29

I'm not usually one to call "Dump him!" But seriously, dump him.

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 17:43

I get the feeling that the "friend" purposely mentioned it within OP's presence. Good guy friend.

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:29

It's sad that you had to hear it from someone else.

UnidentifiedFun 37

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:29

I don't wanna be one of those people with the quick "Dump him" comments, but ...dump him

expertsmilee 26

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Monday 16 November 2015 23:10

No need to feel bad about saying it when it's warranted.

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Monday 16 November 2015 23:15

#10, did your bf confess later? lol

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 7:15

wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaakfj;lkdfjsa;doijopaiwjebpoawjebaewvsdv TACO HELLL

NonScaryPumkin 22

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 14:14

Good thing OP found out. I probably hasn't learned his lesson and would've ended getting OP pregnant. Though I wonder if he got the girl pregnant before or during their relationship.

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 14:28

Dump him for his kids sake. He needs to focus on them

Tyrez 32

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Monday 16 November 2015 22:30

I feel sometimes FML just chips away at my faith in humanity, even though I barely had any to start with.

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Monday 16 November 2015 23:16

I really hate when people say this. There are a lot of reasons to have "faith in humanity". Stories about nice people don't sell, stories about obnoxious and bad people do though. Focus on the good in this world rather than the bad.

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 0:00

Also, you're on FML, what do you expect?

Tyrez 32

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 9:18

Guess I wish FML had more stories that made me laugh instead of making me feel disgusted.

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Tuesday 17 November 2015 19:42

Today all is right in the world. I got a raise, won the lottery, & got a proclamation of love by the man of my dreams!!!! FML. (see, doesn't work)

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 116

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 95