Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
Iamnotmyself
| 17
I bid 20$
By
JiggaJayZ
| 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
Comments
By
smurfsarwales
| 9
tell her your priceless :p
Reply
iSitt
| 0
why would she agree to come over right after the "just be friends speech"?
Reply
smurfsarwales
| 9
there never was a speech, but I guess he felt the vibes.
Reply
youshitme
| 9
Your priceless what? Oh, you mean 'You're priceless'.
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-37 We knew what he meant
Reply
youshitme
| 9
Your priceless what? Oh, you mean 'You're priceless'.
Reply
smurfsarwales
| 9
40- it's not my fault that some people are born retarded. take you as an example. when there is one small grammar mistake, your handicapped brain is unable to comprehend the rest of the phrase. even though, unless you have lived in a dark cellar all your life, which your parents should have done to save the everyone else having the pain of interacting with you, you would have realized this the interwebz, and people can do what the fuck they like without needing some retarded advice from you.
Reply
DeepDownThere
| 3
I don't understand a damn thing that kid says half of the time.
Reply
goshpeople
| 4
#37 obviously understood what the commenter meant by the grammatically incorrect sentence. You can't spend much time online without coming across that kind of thing countless times.
However, mixing up "your" and "you're" actually makes the original commenter look like more of an idiot than Youshitme does for correcting him in a non-conventional way.
However, mixing up "your" and "you're" actually makes the original commenter look like more of an idiot than Youshitme does for correcting him in a non-conventional way.
Reply
ibitehard
| 9
XD My name is Emily, I would like to claim OP, unless he's really ugly, then he can be sold :3 sowwy for being shallow. :p
Reply
dani212
| 0
126, you shallowness is not excused
Reply
yomommma
| 6
Yea because you aren't worth shit.
Reply
gene818
| 13
As a way to try and get her back or as a last insult?
Reply
Rosalie_Haostn
| 0
then she'll write free on his leg lol that might be worse than selling him.
Reply
gertyygirly
| 4
poor op! Your 'girlfriend' is kind of a bitch for doing that to you. You don't write property of _____ on somebody's body if you are just friends. Talk about a tease....
Reply
fthku
| 13
#57, you're being quite a hypocrite. You said it's the internet, everyone can do whatever the fuck they want, right? So, youshitme can correct you all he wants. It looks like you should take your own advice.
Reply
gtwerd
| 0
"If it lacks a price... It's probably worthless."
By
Iamnotmyself
| 17
I bid 20$
Reply
IndigoFuckYou
| 9
I'm offering $25, and a six pack of beer.
Reply
DeepDownThere
| 3
$20??? Damn son I'd do anything for that. Want a blow job?
Reply
JiggaJayZ
| 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
Reply
flockz
| 19
my bid- my sister's virginity.
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-9 15$ unless your toothless.
Reply
JiggaJayZ
| 16
it's not just about the bjs bro, you OWN that person. Use him for stem cell or sell his soul to the devil for millions or shit I dunno
Reply
smurfsarwales
| 9
il give you the elder wand and the invisibility cloak.
Reply
DeepDownThere
| 3
Bro. Now I ain't no whore. $20 or you don't get any of this. You want something for $15? Don't make me get my daddy up in here.
Reply
ArentICute
| 0
10- I remember that FML
Reply
FMMFL1992
| 3
What a tool bag. Why would you let her write on you?
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
I've heard of signs of wanting to break
up. but this is just too literal
up. but this is just too literal
Reply
donny31459
| 0
Uhh I'll bid this Mexican.
Reply
DeepDownThere
| 3
Agreed bro. Man up and Punish her.
Reply
Baagsbaseball
| 5
^^Old FML references. Win. :)
Reply
shelbygordon44
| 7
My bid: 10$, half a pack of cigs, and my sister. And if any accessories come with said product I'll add a few cases of beer to the equation.
Reply
TheBitchOfChuckN
| 7
30, and I don't laugh.
Reply
scrapmetal58
| 9
19 - I'll be your slave for those two!
Also, I bid FML.
Also, I bid FML.
Reply
LolMoqz
| 10
What is this? "The Price is Right"?
Reply
2ndSucks
| 15
I bid 40$ and my dog. She'll be forever loyal (;
Reply
CompettiveCheer
| 0
I bid OPs mother.
Reply
issoz
| 10
$19.9 an hour, my house is a mess!
Reply
Drigr
| 8
I bid the dog in my house that just won't die. seriously. he is like 16, got hit by a car, and still lives..
Reply
Epilepsy_fml
| 0
$20! Damn son I'd do anything for that! Want a blow job?
Reply
JiggaJayZ
| 16
100- Number 9 said the exact same thing, which was who I replied to earlier, and got modded. Godspeed
Reply
JiggaJayZ
| 16
Damn that was quick...
Reply
BrokenDreamer24
| 14
Your dog has one hell of a guardian angel watching over him. Or he's one tough mofo. That's a dog Chuck Norris needs XD
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
Sold! To the guy that offered 1000$!
Reply
crymore007
| 11
14 the point of bidding is you're supposed to bid higher than the last guy...
Reply
RetardedBullFrog
| 4
120, its not over yet !!
I bid my blastoise, mudkipz, and a box juicy juice!
some people gots to catch em all!
I bid my blastoise, mudkipz, and a box juicy juice!
some people gots to catch em all!
Reply
NavySEAL13
| 0
I'll bid 1 dog 2 pistols my gf $1001 and a semi-truck full of beer
Reply
BaconDave
| 12
Unlimited fried or grilled chicken for two years. And the resurrection stone because 19 didn't say it.
Reply
skizzlerz
| 0
I'm not even thumbing this because it has 69 thumbs up :D lmao thumbs up this comment if you noticed the extra innuendo (even besides the 69) in the first part the first time you read it xD
Reply
AaronTkr
| 0
#40- it's cute.
Reply
IWarnedYou
| 0
$20*
Reply
danishbagel
| 3
I'll bid a penny. Not just any penny, a penny with Abraham Lincoln's face on it.
Reply
grapisy
| 8
I'll call your whatever and raise you 12 cheeseburgers.
Reply
juicedboi
| 7
I will bid myself. But I may not be of equal value so I'll throw in a tamagochi!
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
does it come with dolphin?
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-171 I bid your soul along with my 20$
Reply
powderpuffjord13
| 0
Sing the song "I'm Yours" untils she passionately kisses you :D
Reply
scrapmetal58
| 9
I bid infinity and beyond (plus my previous bid).
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
174 my soul is worth a lot, but you'll have to consult Satan cuz i recently traded it to him for a baconator. also. I bid chuck norris' first pubic hair
Reply
ak2580
| 0
ha
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-182 I bid proof aliens exist, Jesus Of Nazareth's pet crocodile, Rush Limbaugh's Chinese slave, and my mothers first born child. His name? Bigfoot.
Reply
Rosalie_Haostn
| 0
....I wouldn't bid THAT much maybe give him the... nope I wouldn't bid those things.
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-195 You sir have no sense of adventure.
Also dolphincheddar. I negotiated with Satan your soul is mine all for the price of my 20 fellow cultists souls!
Also dolphincheddar. I negotiated with Satan your soul is mine all for the price of my 20 fellow cultists souls!
Reply
sheethapins
| 13
I bid my lucky leotard, my chia pet, 12 tacos, and my collection of Chuckie Cheese tokens.
Reply
toastyjustice
| 5
I bid seasons 1-8 of Walker Texas Ranger.
Reply
Aim4thebullseye
| 4
alright I gotta top all these bids so my offer is: 40 Lamborghini's 30 mansions 20 space stations 10 countries 9 nuclear warheads 8 tine machines, top 7 deadliest assassins, 6 geniuses, 5 moons, 4 effiel towers (yes there's more then one in the world, 3 fairy godparents, 2 oceans, and a patrich on a pear tre...i mean, the tahj mahal(spelling), whitehouse, the president of USA, the friggen great wall of china, and a shiny penny. I am ready to claim my item now.
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-219 I counter this by bidding my pet monkey that rides a unicycle.
Reply
Philliesfan9391
| 3
I bid my dog!
If you put peanut butter on yourself he will lick you anywhere.
....
Anywhere!
If you put peanut butter on yourself he will lick you anywhere.
....
Anywhere!
Reply
myschyveus
| 0
I bid an original biker mice from mars action figure, a lecherous new guinea Pygmy, and the gross national product of north Korea after Kim Jong il takes his annual salary. and a single tear from Scarlett Johanson.
Reply
ChickenInMyKitch
| 4
I think I still remember my Neopets account, SO, I will bid that.
it is to be noted that I also had the best neopets evar...
it is to be noted that I also had the best neopets evar...
Reply
Aim4thebullseye
| 4
*steals pet monkey on unicycle & adds to list* NOW WHAT?
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-225 Kills you. Steals everything. I'm winning!
Reply
Jownz345
| 3
YDI for having legs
Reply
kaykay9080
| 5
I bid my small b0obs~
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
236 Have some decency, your 14.
Reply
Jownz345
| 3
we have some pedophials in here ø.ø
Reply
whitesox365
| 0
I would bid Chuck Norris, but he already bid me...
Reply
ArentICute
| 0
I bid Osamas body, half of China and a dirty sock.
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
Wow, this guy must feel wanted. Well, I bid: *Ahem* hold on, gotta read through this list..... no..... no not that one...... what is this doing on this list..... no..... THAT ONE. I bid: Something of equal value to the distance between the sun, and the black hole in the middle of the milky way. when you find something to top that, tell me. I have a penny up my sleeve!
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
Wow, this guy must feel wanted. Well, I bid: *Ahem* hold on, gotta read through this list..... no..... no not that one...... what is this doing on this list..... no..... THAT ONE. I bid: Something of equal value to the distance between the sun, and the black hole in the middle of the milky way. when you find something to top that, tell me. I have a penny up my sleeve!
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
God dammit double post :C. I never thought it would happen to me :C, but I thought that bout aids also....
Reply
LolMoqz
| 10
Oh yeah, I offer
my "The Young and the Restless" complete series DVD.
my "The Young and the Restless" complete series DVD.
Reply
Docbee
| 11
Soviet Russia bids me
Reply
saaaalt
| 4
I'll just make one of my milkshakes, that'll have him running to the yard ;)
Reply
Taurusbaybe
| 8
That was so entertaining to read! Keep 'em bids coming!
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-257 I bid your mom!
Reply
AunteyN
| 4
Lol amazing refrence.
Reply
StopDropNRoll
| 11
If I ask politely can I have him for free?
Reply
steveakafranxy
| 7
#14 got burned by #123
Reply
steveakafranxy
| 7
#168 Gouda or no deal
Reply
embr
| 0
omg tht made my day
Reply
mfmylifesrsly
| 29
I know I'm late but..
I bid my nipples, and a never-ending supply of bjs and sammiches.
I bid my nipples, and a never-ending supply of bjs and sammiches.
Reply
gmc_blossom
| 21
I'll give you one of the Horcruxes it takes to kill me. 0-0
Reply
Babalu722
| 3
ill accept that
Reply
hi5534
| 3
your dog must be IMMORTAL D:
Reply
wordnerd42
| 0
I'd place a bid, but I'm terribly afraid of realtors.
Reply
wordnerd42
| 0
I'd place a bid, but I'm terribly afraid of realtors.
Reply
AgentCobra
| 5
ah, I see what you did there! :)
Reply
damatix
| 3
stfu n gtfo u ruined it
Reply
sweetness17
| 7
my bid: whatever underwear im wearing, justin beibers virginity and as many beers that itll take in order to get his virginity while wearing that very large sombrero
Reply
sweetness17
| 7
hell noo. mines better than yours;)
Reply
zkcupcake
| 4
I bid: the worlds largest cupcake (Chocolate), the worlds largest rubber duck, and Mad-Eye Moody (Who didn't die, he just fell through the roof of my house, landed in my jello and currently resides in my basement)
Reply
ashl3ym0n3t
| 4
idk what op means. is that bad?
Reply
BShady96
| 0
i bid... wait what are we bidding for again?
Reply
Gazarok
| 0
i bid a lifetime supply of cheezits, the Milky Way Galaxy, Jupiter, Argentenia, 20 MILFs, God himself (thats right, God is your slave. he'll do anything you want!), my original and still working Frogger Atari cartridge, the phone im using to type this on, my sister, France, this wonderful dead cricket i found in my pocket along with my pocket lint, my entire collection of pokemon trading cards, and my other car.
Reply
Chernie
| 6
The Elder Wand is broken, blasphemy.
Reply
10lolo
| 4
i bid my lesbian ex girlfriend
Reply
gomie
| 0
I like her sense of humour
Reply
lord_jimmington
| 0
Since when did the convention become to put the dollar sign AFTER the figure? *shakes head*
Reply
yenze
| 18
why is everyone wanting to buy Op?
Reply
poorjudgement
| 26
Beacuse his gf put him on sale, after telling him she wants to be "just friends", so ppl tried to chear him up. (and maybe even really buy him :p)
By
dunkme2
| 4
first!
Reply
Dasuss
| 11
Fail.
Reply
MsSoulReaper
| 27
Sir, I believe you are third. :)
Reply
futtbuck101
| 1
You should write "for rent" on her
By
IndigoFuckYou
| 9
Well, how much are you going for?
Reply
kittykat1497
| 7
I'll give her $20 and half a case of beer ;P
Reply
StopDropNRoll
| 11
bids start on #1 ^
Reply
sarahbella101
| 7
At least you're worth a rice :p at least you werent for free.
By
_Sophia_
| 14
Ruthless business woman.
Reply
NuTrees
| 9
AkA bitch!
Reply
goshpeople
| 4
You've gotta love her creative idea, though.
Reply
itsgen
| 15
this is a stupid fml
really wow she drew on ur leg for sale -.-
really wow she drew on ur leg for sale -.-
By
dinosaurfeces
| 4
Somebody call the waambulance.
Reply
Ashle1gh
| 14
Neenawwww.
By
thelegitlady
| 0
and let the bidding begin!
Reply
beastlybeauty
| 4
Do I hear a one dollar? one dollar anyone? No?
Reply
grapisy
| 8
*crickets*
By
MsSoulReaper
| 27
Maybe someone better will buy you?
Reply
a_nutritionist
| 10
overly clingy male who reads into everything looking for new home.
i dont see it selling.
i dont see it selling.
Reply
angeluv_2014
| 22
She's the one who wrote that he was her "property". It sounds like she's just playing with his head.
By
J1hill33
| 12
that's what you get when you known she just wanted to stay in the friend zone
Reply
KatrinaKitten
| 16
Yeah. OP even referred to his ex as just his "girlfriend"...Why would he do that? I really loathe guys who won't get it through their head that they're done with in terms of relationships, and ANY attempts, with any amount of kind intent, will only end with another rejection.
Sure, sometimes you can win someone back, but there IS a reason why they broke ties in the first place.
Sure, sometimes you can win someone back, but there IS a reason why they broke ties in the first place.
Reply
theaws0m3guy
| 4
^ Bitch alert. -.-
Reply
KatrinaKitten
| 16
Because voicing an opinion is being a bitch.
Reply
scrapmetal58
| 9
68 - Sometimes it can be. I'm not saying I think you're a bitch though.
Reply
KatrinaKitten
| 16
68-
You're right.
You're right.
Reply
xk75
| 4
61: delusional manipulative clinger alert, much like the OP.
Reply
johnson94
| 5
^ meow
Reply
grapisy
| 8
36- the person would still be OPs friend, and would still be female, therefore would still be his girl friend. Maybe OP simply forgot the space?
Reply
KatrinaKitten
| 16
176,
I cannot believe your utter idiocy! It's obviously implied in the FML that OP feels that the girl is still his girlfriend...it's ridiculous to assume that he refers to a friend that's a girl as a girlfriend when he aims to "win her back."
Now, unless you aren't producing blatantly and absolutely childish assumptions, don't bother to comment any further and save me the frustration.
I cannot believe your utter idiocy! It's obviously implied in the FML that OP feels that the girl is still his girlfriend...it's ridiculous to assume that he refers to a friend that's a girl as a girlfriend when he aims to "win her back."
Now, unless you aren't producing blatantly and absolutely childish assumptions, don't bother to comment any further and save me the frustration.
Reply
KattAlex
| 4
Well, it didn't say how long they were broken up. If it was only a day or two he might still be in the habit of calling her his girlfriend. Though, he still wants her back, so, you could definitely be right about him not being able to get over the fact that their relationship ended.
Reply
xxlauruh
| 0
this whole stupid argument should never have occurred.
Reply
shamisthomas
| 0
I agree friends zone is never a good place
By
booty_9
| 5
Awkwardd..