By giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock - 19/12/2014 23:14 - United States - Colorado Springs

Spicy
Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 974
You deserved it 4 609

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Mom's a cockblock even in your dreams. Better stock up on Vaseline, I guess

Sometimes you don't even have your own brain on your side...

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Mom's a cockblock even in your dreams. Better stock up on Vaseline, I guess

More than just a cockblock, that's pretty abusive. I hope dream-mom is an exaggerated version of the real life one, otherwise this really is an FYL, OP!

Go out and get some action !

You say that like you can walk out of your door and fuck everything.

No sex for you!

Sometimes you don't even have your own brain on your side...

I think it's safe to say most of the time our brains are against us.

Half of the time my memory goes out right before I even talk to a girl in my dreams...

You talk to girls in your dreams? I don't even have the courage to talk to them in my dreams, and when I do, they turn me down. Luckily, I just ride a rainbow giraffe into space to make myself feel better.

Nothing kills the mood quite like that.

Nickelback does

that totally kills the mood when mom walks in

Wow that's really sucky!

Hmm, there might be a button for that thought. You should check it out sometime soon. :)

@21 Made sure to find it for yours.

If that's how your mom really is in real life, then I feel bad for you.

Moms can do that sometimes

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

idk which is worse, his or yours o.O

#17, your profile bio scares me. I hope you were just joking for the most part

You need to get out there and find someone

#11: ...is what he's been telling himself for the last 6 years.