By giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock - 19/12/2014 23:14 - United States - Colorado Springs
  Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
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  MrSassypants  |  32

You talk to girls in your dreams? I don't even have the courage to talk to them in my dreams, and when I do, they turn me down. Luckily, I just ride a rainbow giraffe into space to make myself feel better.