By hardtoignore - 03/10/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 160
You deserved it 45 335

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You sure attracted attention.

Which is why you don't. . . *lowers sunglasses* Crash, thud, thud, "watch out, asshole!," Ouch, oof, tinkle, moan, gasp. wear your sunglasses at night.

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You sure attracted attention.

At first, I thought it said, "while reading about abduction techniques."

Do you want a cookie or something?

Well, I guess you'll have more luck next fall. Get it? Fall, Autumn? No?

Shades in a club?

This is why I don't watch Jersey Shore. :/

Exactly whose seduction techniques where these? The Todd's?

Did anybody else read this as "Today, I thought I was a bird, so I put on some really bright colors and went out in search of a mate. When I tried to fly, I came crashing down back to reality. FML"? Just me? Ok, I'll go back to my corner now.

Thumbing your comment up, Is like giving yourself a high five.

I don't see what people find so great about clubs they're dark crowded They play bad (in my opinion) music really loud And dumb shit like this happens

Sounds like you read a book on how to be a douche.

74- thumbing your comment down is like giving you a kick in the balls.

the things guys do for attention.. smh,

Wearing sunglasses inside? Who does that?

109 Whoever wrote that "seduction for dummys" book apparently :)

you know who wares shades inside clubs? people on drugs.

Op, is your name "the Situation" ?

Congratulations, you've won the annual award for douchebaggery of the highest degree.

WARNING: Wearing Dark Shades in a Night Club Gives You the False Impression of Being Cool

You should've just been yourself. Would've worked realistically.

Who the fuck told you to wear shades indoors? Sounds to me like you are retarded ;/

YDI, you're trying too hard haha

Which is why Cory Hart was only a one-hit wonder and is much more successful playing baseball for the Milwaukee Brewers.

Zing! Fellow Wisconsinite, let's go Crew!

He plays baseball?.. I need to get with the times.. *goes back to wearing his sunglasses at night*

Hey! Look at that sexy beast! *trip* Oh...

Lol he was pea-cocking! :D

His sunglasses were cock-blocking! :D

His shirt was... Well technicolor!!!

the "Oh..." made it perfect. xD

Aaand, did you not try on the glasses before you bought them to check for vision ability?

I'm sure op did check, but he was in a club where it's much darker.

Dont belive everything you read xD

That's a shady seduction technique.

If those techniques actually worked, no one had to worry about anything in life.

That's what happens when you get seduction techniques off a website with a option for braille.