By Jon - 07/06/2009 06:47 - United States

Spicy
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 153
You deserved it 79 055

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Why would anyone open up to their mom about masturbation.

Nice. Maybe she thinks you meant texting feels good and every guy does it too? Right? Right? :/

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Haha. That sux. although, I guess that's what happens when you assume...cuz i mean, unless she was in the shower/bathroom with you (O_O), or you were making noise (?) then I think she wouldn't have any idea about what you were doing...

what the hell made you think she was talking about you jacking off? Unless you have a see through shower I'd figure she was referring to the texting..

I think he made some noise...

When you assume you make an ass out of you and me. (:

And even if somehow she did know why would you world your response like that?! "It feels good" that's creepy as hell!

poor mom... yikes D: and dude how would she know you were doing it? was she in the bathroom with you?

Wow... Always assume she doesn't know...duh

Nice. Maybe she thinks you meant texting feels good and every guy does it too? Right? Right? :/

Wow next time ask what!

LOL... I love that your justification was that "it feels so good."

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How bizarre!

You get wet. That's why.

I'm a twelve year old and I do it. Jeez

I thought this was a joke until I looked at your profile. You will! Haha

Why is everybody thumbing somebody down because he doesn't do it? Neither do I, because I don't want to.

If you don't do it, you wouldn't be announcing it to the internet

LOL that's happened to me before xD but you are totally exposed, but look on the bright side. every guy does it

#7: Every sperm is sacred, right?

Wow. The dumbassness of this OP is destroying my brain cells!