Wow. Sounds like your mother really cares about your well being! I'm so sorry OP! I'm sure you have friends who care more than your mother!

I'm sorry OP, she sounds pretty cold.

Yeah! Op should stay with a friend who actually cares about her!

Lets hope OP was bad and Santa gives OP a lump of coal!

I would love being given coal for Christmas! Go sell that shit, then buy something decent for myself!

Or maybe some One Direction posters?

The cans are warmed by my body heat.

The cans? What???

For some reason, my mind went straight to boobs when I read this :S

Excuse me while I pick up my mind out of the gutter..

52 I thought the same thing lol

It really brings my blood to a boil when parents don't give the slightest regards to their children. OP I hope you warm to the idea of disowning such a careless ice-queen.

Quality not Quantity*

Who knows. Sometimes we get roaming, vagabond commenters, that post whatever random assortment of words they can come up with from post to post. It's funny sometimes

And sometimes, these vagabonds wave at you from the bus after taking your spare change.

Pleonasms use of puns on FMLs, some of them are golden, this one, in my opinion felt forced

Rug up with lots of blankets and jumpers. Spend your time watching movies in bed. But I'm sorry about your mean mother!

Yes, there right. LOTS IF BLANKETS!!

How the hell does one deserve this?! FYL dude.

There are a lot of people out there that think everyone deserves anything they get, good or bad.

It's the people who just want to do the opposite of the majority. They want to be rebels.

People who think FTW means "f the world" and not "for the win".

I'm one of the people who hit 'ydi' Mind you I did not do that on purpose. While using a small touch screen, someone can accidently push the wrong one. This is probably a good number of them for this fml. I've done this a few times over the years.

Sorry OP, all the warm thoughts in the world aren't going to keep you from freezing. I'd recommend Booze, but surgery and booze don't mix.

Booze won't help you either way, with or without surgery. It simply make you feel warmed up for a short period and cause you to lose more body heat over time.

Cold hearted bitch

When your choosing her a retirement home, chuck her in a damp smelly shed and tell her to think clean and warm thoughts.

If you do get abnormally cold, turn the stove on and keep the door open. it may use a lot of electricity but its toasty warm.

Tried and true!

Oh my. Never EVER NEVER use your stove to heat your house! NEVER! Especially if its gas!

Well, think warm!

Looks like 1 person doesn't get sarcasm.

Just because someone thumbs you down it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't get your sarcasm. There could be a multitude of reasons. Like your joke is shit. Or they hate you. Either one.

27- both