Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went...

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 18:00

Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 2 047

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Henry8cooper 15

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Monday 29 July 2019 18:42

No - no your brain did not misfire - it was expressing your state of mind with scary precision.

BigSissy 14

Monday 29 July 2019 18:06

That is equally horrifying and hilarious!

Comments

BigSissy 14

Monday 29 July 2019 18:06

That is equally horrifying and hilarious!

Henry8cooper 15

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Monday 29 July 2019 18:42

No - no your brain did not misfire - it was expressing your state of mind with scary precision.

acmariner99 25

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 0:26

That’s pretty funny, but you do kinda deserve it. Just make sure to run your thoughts through your brain filter before speaking next time!

mekiswrite 21

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 1:24

Talk about a Freudian Slip.

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 4:59

Nice try. Were you hoping the reply would be “doggie style?”

WeirdUS 29

Tuesday 30 July 2019 11:38

That wasn't a misfire your brain outed you for being a creep. YDI

FinkiusMaximus 7

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 14:48

Strange. Unless you really emphasized the word "hump" or have impeccable diction, I imagine the average person wouldn't even notice the slip.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 16:12

maybe you should work in the back if not fired

BurnInDemonFire 33

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Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:49

"Fuck you very much!"

Nearly

Today, I realized that as I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any of the other things of the world today, this is my only contact with the world other than work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 28

Today, I go back to school after the winter break. I went to bed at a normal time so I wouldn’t fall asleep in class. I woke up at 3 a.m. and I still have to get up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 20

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 286

Today, I'm stuck at my future brother-in-law’s Bachelor party. Ten guys I don’t know, who are all younger than me. It turns out two of them have been fucking since High School, and it’s an open secret in their group. I won’t out them, but only cause I don’t care enough to remember names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 508