This Week's Best Comments
Welcome to this week's edition of the comment countdown. Who will reign this time? You ready? Okay, less do this thang.
10. Let's start off the countdown by kickin' it old school with Jessicasoho.
Today, I finally broke down and paid someone to clean my condo. Sometime after she finished, my cat threw up. Then my roomba went off, smearing regurgitated mackerel all over the freshly washed floors. There goes $150. FML
"A mop costs $10" -jessicasoho
Today, I decided to pull a prank on my girlfriend by hiding in the closet and scaring her when she came home. I got in and closed the closet doors, only to realize I couldn't open them from the inside. She just texted me to say she covered for a friend and won't be home for 6 more hours. FML
"*starts playing r. kelly*" -iamme216
8. Druu loads up a laugh.
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
"Looks like he was only there to drop off a load before picking up more cargo." -Druu
7. Thanks for standing up for those with mental health issues, sticky359. :)
"I know what I wouldn't be doing without the time I spent with a therapist: Leaving the house. It is time for the world to grow up and stop pretending that letting mental health issues fester and pretend that it would make them look weak to seek professional help. Ignoring it like the "good old days" seems to get us nowhere" -sticky359
6. Here comes the pun. BiGTiMeNeRd, thank you.
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
"At least now you'll have a fresh perspective." -BiGTiMeNeRd
5. Internet shaming à la RichardPencil.
"They always said, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." You let the bedbugs bite!!! How disappointed your family must be that you didn't obey that simple instruction." -RichardPencil
4. Heh. Peep this humdinger from nallmmf217.
"I don’t trust stairs.. they’re always up to something." -nallmmf217
3. Species4872 puts family first.
"Some fucking father. You don't charge your own kid." -species4872
2. I got a good chuckle outta this on, gngr_grl.
"I hate it when guys look at my weird." -gngr_grl
1. Your quick wit astounds me, guiltnazan. Mad love.
Today, I held a family reunion at my house. I bought a present for my nephew and to mix things up, I hid it in the house. We let him search around, amused, when he suddenly emerged shouting “Auntie has a sword!” He had opened the drawer on my nightstand and pulled out my vibrator. FML
"I guess this gives a new meaning to the phrase "falling on your sword." -guiltnazan