This Comedian Has Been Trolling the Government With His Driver’s License Pictures and They’re Absolutely Legendary
Jono Zalay is a stand-up comedian who recently moved back to his home-state of California after building his comedy career in Boston. a new state means a new id, and a new opportunity him to take part Zalay family tradition: “being documented by the government as characters.”
Recently moved back to California and had to get a new drivers license. This is my story (thread)...
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
My family has a tradition of being officially documented as by the government as characters, because they don't know we're not those people. My dad started this tradition in the 70s. Here is my brother's latest: pic.twitter.com/gtcYbgdTt3
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Zalay told BoredPanda that some of the characters adopted by his father “included mafia hitman, lumberjack, and civil war general where he shaved his beard into burnsides. He ended up keeping that look for like 6 months.”
Though Jono has just as many characters under his belt.
I have had several over the last couple decades and states... pic.twitter.com/uer0u7B9jn
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
When considering what direction he would go in this time, he took all his features into consideration.
Today I wanted to take advantage of my relatively longer hair and lack of mustache, but my idea would need a lot of steps to transform this wholesome young boy. pic.twitter.com/s1wut5qrwU
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
He documented his transformation with some hilarious and astute commentary.
Phase 1: start-up CEO/barista/lyft driver pic.twitter.com/zDcqQdTTD4
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Phase 2: Alex Jones: Supreme Court Justice pic.twitter.com/jHdn9gVCZr
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Phase 3: Mean Surfer #7 (uncredited), Point Break (1991) pic.twitter.com/IQ755NYkan
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Phase 4: Aaron Carter becomes a birthday clown after his solo album tanks. pic.twitter.com/OIZlyUrYuK
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Phase 5: CHAPPiE's biological father pic.twitter.com/00K30gBqiY
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Phase 666 (final phase): Not just a prodigy, I'm THE PRODIGY. pic.twitter.com/y51CYxY5vW
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
All set and ready to hit the DMV!
When processing my paperwork, the DMV employee comments, "well you're gonna need a new photo, you look nothing like your last California ID." She is referring to this one: pic.twitter.com/OPurD2W80Z
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Unfortunately when taking the official photo the picture person doesn't let me snarl my lip. But I'm snarling them with my eyes.
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Also- CURVEBALL! I have to take a written driving test! Did u know you're not allowed to park in front of your own driveway? But I said u could because FUCK THE GOVERNMENT and I barely passed.
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Anyway. ID gets mailed in 2 weeks but for the next couple months my hair is gonna be a little extra so be cool about it.
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
To sum up/TL;DR...
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
I got a punk drivers license even tho I am NOT a punk but it is a prank on the lame government so technically I AM a punk?! pic.twitter.com/bJuOCc6CcU
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018
Not just a punk. The punk. Don’t let the man stop you from doing you, even if that means doing someone else.
Also I acknowledge this is only something a white guy can do. I think that is tragic and want every person regardless of race, religion, or gender to have this frivolous of a relationship with people who check their IDs.
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) January 10, 2018