The War Against MLMs: Funny Examples of Scams and Responses.

Unless you've been living on the Moon, someone has probably tried to drag you into a pyramid scheme, claiming it isn't a pyramid scheme. If so, you'll feel right at home in this article! If not, consider it a PSA.

Multi-level Marketing, the cancer of social media

OK, maybe social media is already a form of cancer, but some MLMs claim to cure, or help cure cancer, and Instagram doesn't claim to do that. Besides, "help" is such a dumb word. You can "help" flatten the surface of the Earth by jumping on it, but you're not making much of a difference. In the case of MLMs such as Herbalife, Arbonne, LulaRoe, DoTerra and others, people in desperate situations are preyed upon to spend money on useless products in order to become #BossBabes, thinking they own their own business when they're just more and more into debt. And then they have to start selling shitty products. How do they do this? The classic is contacting people on social media, like old school acquaintances, and offering bullshit essential oils for the most ridiculous reasons. However, the general public is getting wise to all this (even though pyramid schemes have been around since, well, the pyramids), so watching the fight back is quite amusing. Hence this article. This is a collection of brazen attempts to sell, amusing quips, and great comebacks.

1 - Short and sweet.

 

 

2 - This is how it usually starts… Unless the seller fucks it up.

 

 

3 - They will stop at nothing to sign you up.

 

 

4 - Another seller fucks up from the get go.

 

 

5 - The fact that their niece isn't even 18 yet doesn't stop them from placing their… product.

 

 

6 - People who leave these in public deserve spiders in the eyes.

 

 

7 - How to spot an MLM: the emoji wall of text, well satirised here.

 

 

8 - Like vultures, they will swoop in after a death to… sell you essential oils.

 

 

9 - Denial is also required to be a member of a MLM.

 

 

10 - Maybe we prefer phones and toys to your shitty oils, PHYLLIS.

 

 

11 - They really are like cults sometimes, so be warned.

 

 

12 - Wow, rude.

 

 

13 - Vultures, and kids. SHAME!

 

 

14 - People are wising up, thankfully.

 

 

15 - Not only are essential oils bullshit, they make people endoctrinate their kids.

 


16 - They never seem to know their target audience.

 

 

17 - Something tells me that $10,000 is never going to happen.

 

 

18 - If you were in any doubt that these people are scum…

 

 

19 - The last word from Bette Midler.

 

 
That's it for now!

FML hopes you enjoyed this compilation of utter knobs and their shitty products. Tell us all about your stories involving pyramid schemes and MLMs in the comments. Maybe you were scammed by one, maybe you are part of one and you are fuming right now, aren't you Karen?

 

See you all very soon, be excellent to each other.

By Alan / Tuesday 16 July 2019 06:37 /
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Top comments
By  1known  |  29

If only it was that simple. If such schemes still exist, it is because they do work. And one of the reason they do work is because they use techniques that work, not just people are stupid.

Comments
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  Alan  |  48

Unfortunately, there's loads of them about. I'd totally forgot about it, so I didn't mention it in the article, but it was a plot point in the last season of Orange Is The New Black. I think.

Reply
  1known  |  29

If only it was that simple. If such schemes still exist, it is because they do work. And one of the reason they do work is because they use techniques that work, not just people are stupid.

By  abigiggles  |  38

I know I was roped into a couple of these before there was the big pyramid scheme push like there is today. Unfortunately, my grandma still purchases Mary Kay but she’s stuck in her old ways and won’t use a better product.