The Unluckiest (Or Possibly Most Klutzy) Woman On The Internet Has A Hilarious Story About Her Shower Adventure That Led To The ER

This woman's entire life seems like one big FML.

Reddit user TheFlyingPigSquadron is a Scottish woman with a whole lot of bad luck... or possibly, just a whole lot of clumsiness. About a year ago, she managed to get herself into a heck of a lot of self-induced trouble (and pain.) What started out with just washing her hair (an innocent task, one would think,) ended up with a trip to the emergency room for broken toes, sprained ankles and a bunch of bruises. Read below to find out how.

But wait, kids! There's more!

Thankfully, the doctor has some sense...

Source: Bored Panda

By nadine / Wednesday 4 April 2018 16:46 /

Messed up

Sorry…

What did I do?

By arrestedgun - Canada

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

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By Snow - United States

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

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By UglyApparently - United Kingdom

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

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By Namaslayed - India - Mumbai

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

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By bowler99 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

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By probablyfired

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

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By Chris - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

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By Johna Richardson

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

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By scarletdurose88 - United States

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

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By FaronKee - 18/12/2020 00:56 - United Kingdom

Put your back into it

Today, for the first time in 2 years I was able to clean my kitchen, because my back pain has stopped me looking after myself. When I stopped cleaning, my pain was so bad, all I could do was lay flat in bed. Not even my pain meds could help. My kitchen is still not completely clean. FML

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By ImOverHere - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

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By FavreFan99 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

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By frozen solid - United States - Allentown

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

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By kilo1_13 - United States

Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML

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By Thanh Quang

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

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By mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

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By IncompatibleMetier - France

Today, and for a long time, I've had a phobia of schools. I'm extremely stressed out about starting in a new school. Normal, right? Yes, except that I'm the teacher. FML

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By paprikarulz - Australia

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - London

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

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By riiiight - United States - Warren

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

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By Patrick - United States - Sulphur

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

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By unboned - United States - Katy

Fetishes come in all sizes

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

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By catattack78 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

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By Bg2466 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

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By Regina - United States

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

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By tiredoffamilydinners - United States

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

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By Jololol - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

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By BadBribe - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

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By OhMyWhitney - United States

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

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By hotmess - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

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By Anonymousagb - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

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By jj4320 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

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By Stinky and Single - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

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By herANDi - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

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By Anonymous - Germany

Today, there was a a huge storm. There were no buses so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore and this makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML

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By bleeding - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

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By heterolifepartner - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

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Top comments

By rebeccabyram | 15

#7619054 - Wednesday 4 April 2018 20:12

This is the best freaking laugh I've had in ages

By Surewhatever | 35

#7619013 - Wednesday 4 April 2018 18:42

Wow. This is so much worse than when I broke my ankle during Hurricane season in Florida. My roommates were drunks that left beer-caps everywhere. My crutches kept landing on the caps or on wet tile floors and I kept faceplanting. Everyone thought it was SO funny. Also, all of Florida was soaking wet because of four hurricanes in a row, so everywhere I went I usually showed up with a grand entrance of crutches everywhere and...faceplanting. I have no idea why I still have teeth. Good times brah.

COMMENTS

By Surewhatever | 35

#7619013 - Wednesday 4 April 2018 18:42

Wow. This is so much worse than when I broke my ankle during Hurricane season in Florida. My roommates were drunks that left beer-caps everywhere. My crutches kept landing on the caps or on wet tile floors and I kept faceplanting. Everyone thought it was SO funny. Also, all of Florida was soaking wet because of four hurricanes in a row, so everywhere I went I usually showed up with a grand entrance of crutches everywhere and...faceplanting. I have no idea why I still have teeth. Good times brah.

By rebeccabyram | 15

#7619054 - Wednesday 4 April 2018 20:12

This is the best freaking laugh I've had in ages

By Zekfen | 17

#7619056 - Wednesday 4 April 2018 20:23

If she had gotten it all on video she could have won $10,000 from Bob!

By imtooshy | 18

#7619169 - Thursday 5 April 2018 3:29

I truly feel sorry for you, however, I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for one of the best laughs I’ve had in a while. Good luck on your road to recovery.

By Emma1562 | 35

#7619191 - Thursday 5 April 2018 6:18

I find it funny that this app is literally called fuck my life but they blur bad words

Reply

Cali | 54

#7619371 - Thursday 5 April 2018 16:30

The story is from Bored Panda... We can't just unblur it!

By donb23 | 23

#7619885 - Friday 6 April 2018 23:03

Wow this poor woman but still funny. I would have laughed harder but I might have crapped myself.