The Top 12 Funniest Tweets Of The Week
12. It's a tough call.
I swear Florida could be voting between ice cream and a kick to the head and the results would be 50.5%-49.5%.
— Benjamin Park (@BenjaminEPark) November 7, 2018
11. No way!
Did you guys know that you can buy workout clothes and not workout in them? There’s no law against it, they don’t even check
— ⚪️Ash (an female)⚪️ (@adult_mom) November 8, 2018
10. Understood.
if hank is short for henry then frank is short for frenry no more questions
— kim 🦃 (@KimmyMonte) November 8, 2018
9. We belong!
Everyone with ‘I Voted’ stickers walking around smiling at each other is what I imagine it feels like to be Mormon.
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) November 6, 2018
8. She's coming.
— Sara Valentine (@saramvalentine) November 7, 2018
7. We have a volunteer!
If Ruth Bader Ginsburg needs ribs I have like dozens of them that I'm not using, let's do this
— Anna Merlan (@annamerlan) November 8, 2018
6. Accurate.
Me: expecto patronum!
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) November 9, 2018
[30 minutes later a sloth crawls out of the wand and goes to sleep]
5. Yay! Wait. Stop.
Voted. Ate my sticker. High-fived a bald eagle.
— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) November 6, 2018
4. #wewantpockets #notlikethis
I’m going to introduce the tiny, useless pocket on my jacket sleeve to the tiny, useless pocket on my jeans so they can hook up and make tiny, useless pocket babies.
— Just J (@junejuly12) November 6, 2018
3. Thanks.
me: i want to sleep in tomorrow
— kelly (@kelllicopter) November 8, 2018
my brain (banging pots and pans together): rise and shine motherfucker it’s 7 am time to wake up and smell the existential dread
2. Perfect timing, Frenry.
When you didn't put on a bra to walk the dog, but some neighbors stopped you to chat about the trash cans. pic.twitter.com/PzVnc0CB4g
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 4, 2018
1. Amen.
priest: it be like that sometimes
— madison!!! (@madisonfrench_) November 5, 2018
congregation: and sometimes like that it be
That's all for this week's tweets... We hope you liked them as much as we did!
If you had a favorite or want us to feature a new twitter jokester next week, let us know in the comments!
Canada
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