The Tally Is In! Here Are The 6 Funniest Comments Of The Week!
6. Where's 'I Can't Stand Leg Puns' when you need him!?
Today, I'm facing malpractice charges for neglecting a patient and failing to treat an infection. The patient had severe maggot-infested gangrene in his foot with exposed metatarsals, but refused amputation and all treatment. The judge is moving forward with the charges. FML
“if you ask me, that lawsuit doesn't hav a leg - or in this case, a foot - to stand on.” -Tina Harwood
5. These are the logical next steps to take.
Today, my long-distance British boyfriend of 7 years canceled his plane ticket to visit me in the USA. He claims he "doesn't have enough money" to stay for 2 weeks. As I began canceling all the reservations, he called to say he bought a new car and a house. FML
“I have British relatives, so I've learned that the word you need to call your boyfriend is "wanker". And then you dump him.” -BurnInDemonFire
4. We're onto you!
Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML
Is breaking your dick how they steal your soul?” -tounces7
3. It is what it is
“#NoRegerts” - real life problems
2. This is true.
“Maybe she chose the hood life?” -Leeono
“You don't choose the hood life, the hood life chooses you.” - BurnInDemonFire
1. And coming in at #1 for the excellent HP reference.... I knew he looked familiar!
“Well Harry Potter left for Hogwarts. He now has to torture his own family.” -Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“Maybe this is why that lady's swimsuit busted open. Her lady-bits were depressed. Maybe it was hoping some direct sunlight would brighten the mood?” -corrupteddevil