The Best of the Worst of FML #91

Here's another selection of some of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep!

Hello everyone! It's a new month, so here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst of FML!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

This is the August 2020 edition, which is in no way odder than the world at the moment. Seriously, 2020 needs to fuck off. So, for the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very stupid stories. Or "dung" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

Need Xanax

Today, i had a quiz and out of my 5 team members only 2 ppl helped me nd we stil lcame 2nd position, IGNORING THE FACT I WAS HAVING PANIC ATTACKS CUS I WAS THE MF REPRESENTATIVE .. FML

 

My Little Pony

Today, my boyfriend rode inside of a shopping cart and I got frustrated because instead of buying me a horse, he does stupid shit like this... FML

 

Kanye

Today...... FML, everyday..... I keep proving I am God. Ask who is going to be the first President of the United Nations.... go ahead and answer it. If it ain’t me, we all lose hahahahaha

 

Turns out

They want me to come in in 7 am everyday WELL TURNS OUT i was nocturnal the whole time-!fuck yall I’m out AND NO COFFEE EITHER bc my b

 

I could've been a contender

Today, I recognized how much of a stalker I can be. I could be part of the FBI agency if I wanted to pursue that career because I find out everything through analyzing it so well to the point it's pretty accurate at times. Now I'm ashamed of how unproductive I am with my life FML

 

Nine Inch Nails

NOT JUST TODAY.......EVERYDAY IS A WORSE DAY...... JUST FML ......I CANT SAY ANYTHING .... I AM WRITING ALL CAPS PURPOSELY ITS NOT A MISTAKE ...... I THINK I AM IN DEPRESSION. I AM TYPING THIS JUST TO LET EVERYONE KNOW/......MY LIFE SUCKS..FML

 

Why?

Today, I work my 8-8 job just like every other day. My sister didn't ask us till late last night if she could spend the night. So I wake up at7&walk to work, my bf asks me2come home2wake her up so he can work with the computer. I then return later in break&she wake up&says why rent you working? FML

 

Saddest story

Today, I tried downloading a live wallpaper for my samsung j3 Luna pro off of google play. However, I discovered that it is impossible to put a live wallpaper on. None of the tips I've tried are working. FML

 

Cheerful

Today, hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world hi ppl of the world. FML

 

Ded

Today, I had a heart attack and died. That's it. I'm lucky I was holding my phone. FML

 

That's it for now. We'll be back in September for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies!

Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - Our missing features, again
  

Sorry

Today FML cant get my badges FML ANOTHER STAB IN THE BACK. in a long line of misadventures

By Alan / Monday 10 August 2020 11:06 /
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