The Best of the Worst of FML #88

Here's a selection of some of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep!

Hello everyone! It's a new month, so here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst of FML!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

May's edition is a bit later than usual, due to technical difficulties and the fucking virus. Anyway, for people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very stupid stories. Or "WHAT IS THIS BOLLOCKS?" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

Stranger danger

I few days back i got random call. I start talking with him 2know more about him. his habits were same as like my Ex. I told him U should b 4nd wid my Ex. he said tell me her friends name. I mentioned 1name. He told me My Ex and Her family names. moreover He knows everything abt Her as I know Husband

 

I, Robert

Today, I figured out how my life got the way it did. I’m a robot learning device and I can’t control my actions. My name is Robert lol. It’s one big conspiracy! I don’t know if I feel or have microbots in my skull, but it sure isn’t the point. Heh whatevv. Fml.

 

What?

Today I asked a question and a 10 year old dahhh me lo I’m 24 fml

 

Oddly specific

Today...my sunset orange firebird on american racing 4pice chrome plated rims got impounded because my tags have been expired since 2018 but i just recently took off mods and deleted tuning to pass smog and i get pulled over guess what my license is suspended FML my car is in jail now smh

 

To the window…

Today my girl said I had sweaty balls. So no special kisses for me,,,, again,,,

 

Angry

Why do i always have to be so angry with them They believe that oh my they're angels they never make a goddamn mistake Why do they make me feel that i should thank god that we're not making you beg for money or education The fuck it's your fucking responsibilty to pay for them

 

Genius, part 1

today I realized.. why save the human race.. it don't give a fuck about me. I broke math, outsmarted einstein, and I am one chance to save the human race.. fuck it. beg me to save it and I'll think about it. by the way.. the numeral system starts at zero.

 

Genius, part 2

today I understand that I can not process my Nobel Prize like Einstein did. I tried sending my information to the White House.. but it is the most interesting Nobel Prize ever. All hell broke loose. Just give me my million dollars in the dark. fml.

 

Waze

Today I lost everyone again. Another day another lose. I lost myself.. FML

 

Positivity

Today, people don’t lie to see a growth in me... the like me to be dumb n with less. farther mom, it's my immediate family. whenever I post turn up dumb and shit thru like my post.. Positive shite, no like , and the sad part my ex is the same way.. I have nothing but negative people around me. FML

 

That's it for now. We'll be back in June for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies!

Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - any guesses as to who this is, or pretending to be?
  

Get a life

Today a troll has, for the hundredth time attacked me saying I live on the FML Facebook page so now I have to comment on everything they post forever because I'm that petty. Yes I still live here. Fml

By Alan / Wednesday 13 May 2020 08:57 /
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