The Best of the Worst of FML #87

Here's a selection of some of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep!

Hello everyone! It's the first day of the month, so here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst of FML!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "WHAT IS THIS SHITE?" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

Whisper

I walked in to Walmart and a stranger whispered by her self as I passed it’s not our fault... I don’t know u .... but it might be

 

Doesn't work like that

Today, I found out my girlfriend tested positive for the coronavirus after we had sex.

 

Sports fan

Today, Tonight...was the last game the Yankees were supposed to make Game 7 happen for the ALCS. Top of the 9th, they tie up the game 4-4 against the Astros. They were still hanging in there and all we needed was extra innings. Then...in comes fuckin' ALTUVE TO THROW IT OUT THE FUCKIN PARK AND SCREW THE YANKEES OUT OF ANOTHER WORLD SERIES SHOT!!!! FUCK ALTUVE! FUCK THE ASTROS!! FUCK! MY!! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!. FML

 

Bird's the word

Make one gesture in public and the entire public around u has to respond... this is unconsentual communication.

 

Robert

Today I had to keep changing my handle from bob to bob6 because bob1, bob2, bob3, bob4, and bob5 were taken.. FML

 

Captain Sensible

Today test was not done but my daughter doesn’t anything about common sense... FML

 

Inner Monologue

stumack: "i wont eat" heart: "i wont love" feeth: "i wont act lazy" brain: "i wont let you down" neyes: "but...but...there is a new season of the walking dead...and...the sweeties are just...i need to eat them and hide in my bed watching netflix..." FML

 

St Anger

Today, it's fucked, every young man conjures angry emotion, I'm 29 Monday, I was never in the situation to shine, never used it for what it is for, frustrations are trapped ideas and thoughts of how to act mostly over thinking I'm ( angry again ). FML

 

Chill

Today, when i am studying using my cell phone, my teacher send me a video, i am watching and suddenly come to me and beat me that i am gaming.DAMN IT i even open the sound of the video to proof that i am not gaming but my dad still think that i am gaming!!! HOW , and he is so freaking annoying that say something such as "ur result is sooo bad , ur life is sh*t, u r going to fail all exams..."HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FMLLLL

 

Beef

Do not try and reach out to me after we exchange dirty looks. Beef with me we gon beef foreva.

 

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies!

Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - what's going on here? You can contact us anytime!
  

Who is this?

Today, my last FML post that got approved was deleted for no apparent reason. This is after I contacted FML 3 times over a span of several months because I can't leave comments when logged in and have received no reply. FML

By Alan / Wednesday 1 April 2020 04:18 /
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