The Best of the Worst of FML #83

Here's a selection of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and bleach your eyeballs.

Hello everyone! It's the the first Monday of the month, so here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "bollocks" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

Relief

Today I had a really reliving sh!t and there was blood in my eyes FML

 

Bored

Today,I went to hill,the glass bridge is very boring, making me very sick and bored,but the road down the hill is interesting,the moment make me feel happy,it’s very precious to me.Unfortunately after the interesting moment I fell into the severe depression and sadness.when depression recover? FML

 

Permanence

fml, this day in really effin hored nothin to do with every people staying the same.

 

Annoyed

GODDAMNIT!!!!! I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!! UGH SHIT FUCK!!! I'm in a relationship with a woman who thinks she's never wrong and we constantly argue about shit. Getting really annoyed by it.

 

Anything

My daughter in law does not know about common of social anything... FML

 

Blood

today i sneezed just put a new cotton ball in and felt somthing warm went to go fix the problem thinking it was pee it was not pee my cousin asked what kind I said regular it was never heavy didnt realize me sneazing would make a volcanon of blood eroupt out of my ...well you know

 

Balls

I did acid and ended up in the back seat of a car next to this guy who was like jacking himself off thru his shorts and looking at me. I was tripping BALLS dude and like having a panic attack, I was so uncomfortable. No one else in the car seemed to notice, but I am traumatized. :\

 

Dragon

Today, Can Dolph Lundgren makes a double dragon movie with the blonde in rocky. YES!. FML

 

Pregnant

I'm tryna get over finding out my crush doesn't like me back and at camp I saw a cute guy so I was like "ok, I'll get my mind off my crush by staring at him" and for some reason my "friend" ran over and told him I'm pregnant (I'm not- I'm a 13yr old virgin) I told him she was lying afterwards built...

 

Accent

today I was on the phone with a guy I know (we'll call him Jamie) and he randomly comes out as gay and starts saying "take me out after dinner" but he has a weird accent so he says take me out to dinner

 

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies!

Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - Sort of true:
  

Generational

Today I realized that everyone using this site grew up and had kids. FML

By Alan / Monday 1 July 2019 09:41 /
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Top comments
By  BurnInDemonFire  |  26

I'm confused. Does the dude who talks about Double Dragon feel his life is fucked because Dolph Lundgren can make a movie with himself, or is Dolph Lundgren starring in a new Double Dragon movie that I haven't heard about, and that's why dude is upset?

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  Alan  |  48

Judging on the kiddie stuff I have to wade through every day, it seems some people from back in the day had kids, and those kids are now posting their own FMLs!

By  BurnInDemonFire  |  26

I'm confused. Does the dude who talks about Double Dragon feel his life is fucked because Dolph Lundgren can make a movie with himself, or is Dolph Lundgren starring in a new Double Dragon movie that I haven't heard about, and that's why dude is upset?