The Best Of The Worst Of FML #82

Here's a selection of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and poke your eyes out with knitting needles!

Hello everyone! It's the the first Monday of the month, so here's FML's monthly Best of the Worst!

Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "shite" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature.

Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

 

It's a prank, bro

I Met A Girl On A App. We Have Facetimed Nd Everything. She Has A Sister Btw. The Girl Nd Her Sister Is Coming From Cali To See Me Nd My Homie. Me And Him Pranked Then Nd Now My Girl Is Mad At Me Fml

 

Wanker

I was having a wank like any man does but I hadn't had a wank in a month because I was on vacation down Kenya with the African Bois they were pretty chill kids they kept on asking me for food and water tho anyways I had a wank bc I needed one then but when I finished the cum went down my finger

 

Drugs!

Today, Rather drugs then work! Plenty money for drugs no money for bills. How do I eat? Drugs!. FML

 

Another wanker

So yesterday me and some people in my school were talking about Tokyo Ghoul: re and suddenly one dude say "But Toru is a boy or a girl?" we told him he was a dude and he said "Fuck, I masturbated with him" my friend and I couldn't stop laughing

 

Chicken junior

got a junior chicken thrown at me by someone in a moving vehicle...... mcchicken sauce went all over my forearm

 

That voodoo you do

Today, I found out my wife hired a voodoo worker to switch our bodies. She is now in my body and I'm in hers. I found out because my wife woke up before me this morning and proceeded to give me a facial. Apparently this is permanent and cannot be undone. FML...

 

#Seven1SixBlock

This bitch gone tell me it's over... Then weeks go by... She comes back to me being with someone else... Now she mad... I told you that nigga wasn't shit... But you left me for him... Now your dumb ass is back over here #Seven1SixBlock

 

Dating

today I decided to start backUp onna dating scene. she add me thing. and eye seen. she more dude than mean. fml

 

Random

Today, Tonight watching our hockey my favorite and random one he is cheering for random which is not his favorite but he refuses to cheer for mine even when they play great. Like get off your high horse. I'm expected to cheer for his but him not for mine??? Wow. Amazing. All you had to do was say good pla. FML

 

Obviously

Today, I came to the conclusion that if I was to ever be in the science industry I would clone extinct animals. I realized that's kind of out of my range and I can't do it without a billion dollars at least. I wanted to change the world. FML

 

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are being sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. With a bit of prodding, I might even make this a weekly occurence (just ask in the comments). Oh and last time I wrote "Doggy Dog World", it was a joke - I'm just saying that for the one dude who wrote in to correct me, saying "hey, the saying is 'Dog eat dog world', my dudes." I appreciate the concern!

Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track - We all can relate:
  

Why?

why always bad things happens with good people and Good things happens with bad people.... why I mean why!

By Alan / Monday 3 June 2019 09:01 /
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