The Best of the Worst of FML #41
Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! At last, more proof that the internet is full of strange people.
For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "dungspindles" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, brace yourself. Imagine you're in an Easyjet flight and you're hearing "BRACE BRACE".
Today,I fucked my girlfirend so hard cuz my dick is so big u know and she got adiads it sucks cuz I can’t fuck her anymore
Today, I realised I am the king of our bathroom. I am the wife..
It's true, I saw it in an episode of House MD
Today, my best friend told me she had pancreatic cancer. I broke down crying in the middle of Wal-Mart, and felt very sad. That is, until she told me that women don’t even have pancreases. FML.
We've all been there at school
today i was wanking and i jizzed all over my 5000 word essay and its hand written so now its sticky and i handed it in, the teacher licked it. FML
Swans are vicious bastards
yesterday, swans the worst fml fml fml
Today, i mistakenly told George benson the soul singer that i loved his lean mean grilling machine!! when told he was a singer i asked if my gran would know him! i still do not know who he is FML
Today, was mine and my boo boo Joey donuts from stAten island 1 year anniversary. His gift to me was some cheap dead shoprite flowers and a bag from mcdonalds with a number 1 meal geez I know I’m fat but that made me cry. To top it all of their was a card that said it’s over because I love ur mom.
Ticket to ride
Today, I actually won 10,000 on a scratchoff. My ex-fiancé took a shit on the ticket
Bowties are cool
Today, I was wearing a head band that I thought was my sisters. come to find out it’s my brothers bowtie and he demanded to have it back. all I did was throw it on the bed and my mom is making me canel all my party plans FML
Today i got pulled over for speeding the cop said “son your got papers” and i said “siccors” and drove off
That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
Bonus track: You can't get money out of FML likes, sorry dude
FML is God
i really need money but fuck this because i dont have a job so guess wat peps if u read then u know why i justed started writing this to all the peps on FML so if so one can please put some votes on my fuck my life i would really be fucking happy if u know what i mean for real btchez so see ya soon