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The Best of the Worst of FML #33

By Alan / mercredi 26 juillet 2017 09:30
Here's the July selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Yes, people actually submitted these, so strap a helmet and some goggles on, it's going to get rough.

Hello everyone! It's the last Wednesday of the month, which means it's time to post another compilation of weird FMLs that have been sent in by our users. Why they ever thought these would get posted, we don't know. Let's check out this month's selection.   

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent lots of FMLs, but we only publish a few due to the fact that many are not very good. Amongst those, we also get sent very weird stories. Or "shite" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this column. Put your goggles and helmet on now.
 

Sharp vein you've got there 

Today… I was going down on my boyfriend and the vein of the back of his penis gave me a cut on my lip for all the world to see. He said it was one of the best orgasms he’d ever had. FML

Syntax error(s)

1 TimeMy Dad &MeWereRoughHousing. HePunched Me InMyArm, I Decided 2 SockHimBack. Then I Ran 2 The BR. MyBrotherFailed 2 MopHisShowerMess:/ So I Slipped & HitMyBigToeOnTheTub!! I Crawled2MyRoom(crying) MyDadSaid “suckItUp” HeDidntRealize….MyToeNailWasHangingByAtinyPieceOfSkin…&GushingBlood, FML!

He drinks… water?

Today my brother told me I can’t talk to one boy Bcs he drinks but I like him and I don’t know what to do??fml

Buffalo stance

Today i ran in between two buffaloes like oh fuck what happens if those hot girls see me at the back of a buffalo i dont raise buffaloes i happened to walk at their back and the road was small and they were close and due to anxiety i ran in between them FML

Oh no, not the favorite!

Today, I broke my favorite finger nail, FML.

Interesting?!

I startedfingering…but Iwanted to getthings moreinteresting.I went tothe fridge,got whippedcream,&cameback.I didtargets onmy tits&played withthem.Igot fingeringand fellasleep somehow.Iwoke to aticklish feeling&find my dog lickingmy vagwithmelted cream all over itThen I noticedmy window wasopen.Mybrotherwaswatching.

I believe in magiiiic

Today, I heard my little sister screaming upstairs. When I went up to check on her, she said she heard scratching and banging on her door. Her room was right by the attic, and the door to it was open. My family has been through several paranormal experiences. FML

I believe in magiiiic, part 2

I just finally understood that my life has been nothing but a joke until now.I hear voices.I ignore them when I can and try to survive when I cannot.Maybe there’s telepaths out there who specializes in playing with the human mind and decided to prank me or my life realy sucks.

Smells like Nirvana

Today, I was waken by a smell. My room was eating durian. FML.

No Way!

Today my father looked at a drawing of Gerard Way and, not knowing who it was, claimed it was Justin Bieber. As a member of the MCRmy and against 99% of pop music, I take offense to that. FML


That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
 

 

 

Bonus track: This is something we get a lot, but we're here for fun and entertainment not mawkishness.

Let it be

Today…I know this isn’t n FML but for the people who know about the 9/11 attack let u pray for the people who lost their lives.We thank the heroes of 9/11 if u don’t know wat 9/11 is look it up on YouTube

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Top comments
By  Talented73  |  50

I think that one should have read, "My roomMATE was eating durian". For those who don't know this fruit, it is sweet, but the smell is somewhat like a pus-laden discharge with a hint of pig shit.

Comments
By  Talented73  |  50

I think that one should have read, "My roomMATE was eating durian". For those who don't know this fruit, it is sweet, but the smell is somewhat like a pus-laden discharge with a hint of pig shit.

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