The Best of the Worst of FML #32

Here's another selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Yes, people actually submitted these.

Hello everyone! It's the last Wednesday of the month, which means it's time to post another compilation of weird FMLs that have been sent in by our users. Why they ever thought these would get posted, we don't know. Let's check out this month's selection.   

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent lots of FMLs, but we only publish a few due to the fact that many are not very good. Amongst those, we also get sent very weird stories. Or "crapola" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this column. Put your sunglasses on.

Party animal dude 

Today I woke up with a hangover after first time doing coke in 6 months which equaled no sleep and then my girl comes back from club at 5am and try’s to put her arm over me and I got mad cuz she went straight to sleep I smelled her pussy smelt like she was wet! And she had guy # in her phone FML

Boob job

after not having a job for 2 years I get an interview! Seems like everything is going great!! I feel the undeniable release of my breast, a great feeling it is. then I realised my breast are now out to my 2 interviews, a pregnant black lady who is a manager and the OWNER OF THE COMPANY!!!! oh fuck..

Canadians, eh?

Today my debate team debated American health care on an international level. We got beat by Canadians. Their case of… yes. America does… was better than our case of no. America does not… . We’re American. FML

It doesn't work like that

I went to finger my asshole… I missed. Long story short, I’M GAY?…


Today I read this short story out of 111 Living Nightmares about a group of maintenance guys that posted wanted flyers for someone’s birthday!

Who? What? When?

I found out Drake Bell wasn’t invited to Josh’s wedding.

Fictional problems

Today. I literally typed on google ‘site to be angry in’, so here I am. I register this under health because this is giving me health issues, it’s about 'Riverdale’, you know the popular teenage drama show, so why do i look up when the season 2 is coming out and it says 2018?I am mad very mad! FML.

Jazz for your soul

Today, I took the train to go to Tokyo\nThen, it was too crowd to chill out because of the accident with casualties! I want the train officers to put on jazz music in order to break the ice…FML

Sounds like my ex

I m surprised seeing ppl pissed off at petty small issues..while I m dealing wid MONSTERS..yep i mean it.. there r.. REAL LIFE DEMONS..!! Wish I cd publicly tell it..!! Wish i cd rather confront or confess.. #argghh PS : Stay plz mate.. M TOO LONELY TO BE LEFT ALONE AGAIN..!!

Illuminati 2: a pig in the city

Today, i wanted to say, that i died april 1st, 2011. i lived in washington, where the white house was, the president wasn’t there, it was all a lie. you stupid ones. f ur life. i had to tslk to people so FML

That's it for now. We'll be back next month for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!



Bonus track: This is something we receive a lot, but we're not sure how to respond.

Make us a list

Today I went on this site to post something and realized there’s no gender options other than man and woman. FML


By Alan / Wednesday 28 June 2017 13:51 /
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Top comments
By  species4872  |  19

They all sound like Zombie bait.

By  Talented73  |  54

There ARE no gender options other than male or female. It is determined by your genetics, not your feelings. If there is any doubt as to which one you are, check what's in your underwear. That ought to settle the question.