The BBQ Select - 13 FMLs About Your Favorite Labor Day Pastime and Everything That Can Go Wrong When Dealing with Fire
It’s a tradition you share with your friends, family, and other loved ones. But did you know that it’s also the backdrop of unspoken amounts of drama between said friends, family, and loved ones? Maybe it’s the grill smoke going to your head, or badly cooked meat, or too much alcohol. Who knows? All we know is that it makes for some great stories.
Hopefully all you guys are out there right now living your own Labor Day meltdown to share on FML soon, but for now, here are 13 BBQ classics from our archive:
1. They must not have been very close friends if they didn't even know what his fiancee looked like.
2. Damn it, dad!
3. Psych! No such thing as a day off.
Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
4. The night's not over until mom makes a scene.
5. Why have a regular hot dog when you could have a Vienna sausage?
Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML
6. Google result for "how to become a company legend."
Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML
7. Definitley NOT a pussy if he has the balls to say that in front of her family...
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
8. You'd think after five months you'd have realized your girlfriend was an ignorant asshole.
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
9. At least the barbecue is an appropriate place to light a fire.
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
10. How nice of you to bring a firestarter to the barbecue.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
11. DANGER!! That's one sausage you wouldn't want to throw on the grill...
Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML