By thereisnobaby - United States - Cadillac Today, I was met with an unfortunate clerical error, receiving a letter from WIC with a cheery handwritten note instructing me to call when the baby arrives. I guess they forgot I was there four months ago to discuss the changes in benefits after a miscarriage. FML I agree, your life sucks 12084 You deserved it 754 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By uglynerd - United States - Streamwood Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML I agree, your life sucks 52694 You deserved it 4586 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "lk07" - United States - Midlothian Today, after selling things on eBay all week to afford a nice weekend with my husband and kids, my car died. Now we have to spend the money on a battery. FML I agree, your life sucks 3564 You deserved it 315 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/3/2021 11:00 Too much irony Today, I tried to schedule a counseling appointment so I could vent about the lack of quality control in software. The online scheduler said to call. The secretary scheduled my appointment then said the system would send an email with the appointment link. The email did not contain any links. FML I agree, your life sucks 720 You deserved it 84 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mothertucker Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML I agree, your life sucks 3619 You deserved it 657 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unsatisfied - France Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML I agree, your life sucks 27328 You deserved it 5325 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML I agree, your life sucks 1768 You deserved it 286 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML I agree, your life sucks 4146 You deserved it 254 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Not dying. - United Kingdom - Watford Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML I agree, your life sucks 28945 You deserved it 10841 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LOLOLOLOL - United States - Greensboro Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML I agree, your life sucks 6385 You deserved it 37608 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MaKaDa - United States Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML I agree, your life sucks 49586 You deserved it 4803 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadSarah - United States - New York Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML I agree, your life sucks 41213 You deserved it 4775 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Poorfish - United States Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML I agree, your life sucks 50834 You deserved it 29868 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML I agree, your life sucks 24524 You deserved it 3108 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By paige - United States Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML I agree, your life sucks 55619 You deserved it 5772 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bdsam Yuck. Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML I agree, your life sucks 4322 You deserved it 1216 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CRC - United States Damned freshmen Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML I agree, your life sucks 29224 You deserved it 2411 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonyme - Canada - Saint-jean-de-matha Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML I agree, your life sucks 47832 You deserved it 9782 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/1/2021 20:01 Parting gift Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML I agree, your life sucks 859 You deserved it 74 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anaconda Today, I ordered a plain cheeseburger. The cashier was confused, so I explained, "just meat and cheese". When I got my food, my burger didn't have a bun. FML I agree, your life sucks 5379 You deserved it 1870 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ypsitucky - United States Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML I agree, your life sucks 34590 You deserved it 3011 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gothicbunnyx3 - United States Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML I agree, your life sucks 37565 You deserved it 5630 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By df22 - 3/7/2020 20:08 Graded Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML I agree, your life sucks 1834 You deserved it 129 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asleepinclass - Poland Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 139706 You deserved it 40075 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML I agree, your life sucks 10582 You deserved it 82625 288 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mary - France Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML I agree, your life sucks 31167 You deserved it 4328 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sexyhobbit - United States - Pittsburgh Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML I agree, your life sucks 45714 You deserved it 7304 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML I agree, your life sucks 55090 You deserved it 9845 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smbcolorado - United States Family matters Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML I agree, your life sucks 41098 You deserved it 4192 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Sarah Ellsberry" Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML I agree, your life sucks 4027 You deserved it 263 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ===== - Pakistan - Karachi Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML I agree, your life sucks 28600 You deserved it 49869 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By so sleepy - 24/4/2021 02:00 - United States Dream baby dream Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML I agree, your life sucks 862 You deserved it 82 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Doncaster Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML I agree, your life sucks 41017 You deserved it 5670 280 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SeeingLlamas - United States - Knoxville Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML I agree, your life sucks 37025 You deserved it 3069 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kittenfish8903 - United States Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 45245 You deserved it 4658 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Berwyn Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML I agree, your life sucks 29199 You deserved it 2567 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML I agree, your life sucks 30451 You deserved it 4841 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DesignNerd Today, my best friend excitedly told me all about this new video game she'd just discovered that she thought I'd love. It was her Xmas present from me 2 years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 2178 You deserved it 191 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By danthecomplicate - United States Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 35196 You deserved it 12442 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By omglifee - Canada Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML I agree, your life sucks 23788 You deserved it 4089 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I once fooled around innocently with another girl. He’s now trying to force me to "explore my bisexuality".... I agree, your life sucks 454 You deserved it 117 4 Comments
Today, the family member who molested me for several years as a kid, works as a social worker in the same building where I’m treated for the unresolved... I agree, your life sucks 781 You deserved it 35 4 Comments
