By weedvocate - 25/3/2020 14:02 All in the Family Today, my mother brought home dinner for 4 people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML I agree, your life sucks 1652 You deserved it 126 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML I agree, your life sucks 12321 You deserved it 39191 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML I agree, your life sucks 50269 You deserved it 3033 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML I agree, your life sucks 41713 You deserved it 5770 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HF44 - United States - San Francisco Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML I agree, your life sucks 30043 You deserved it 1686 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Samantha - United States Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML I agree, your life sucks 25154 You deserved it 42768 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By michelle - France Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 36240 You deserved it 2796 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML I agree, your life sucks 5195 You deserved it 1640 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pat - United Kingdom Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML I agree, your life sucks 33763 You deserved it 2502 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By What the fuck, son? - Netherlands - Amerongen Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML I agree, your life sucks 46334 You deserved it 7804 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah220 - United States Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML I agree, your life sucks 43456 You deserved it 3282 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses FML I agree, your life sucks 1783 You deserved it 239 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OneGirlsLife - United States - Spartanburg Today, it was supposed to be my birthday dinner with two of my friends. They're both now bringing their boyfriends, so I get to be the fifth wheel to my own birthday dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 4802 You deserved it 357 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 30895 You deserved it 6312 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New Albany Today, I was running late for school and accidentally ran a red light and got pulled over. I couldn't find the registration and was freaking out, when the cop told me that he wouldn't give me a ticket if he could give me some advice. His advice? Don't wear your shirt inside-out. FML I agree, your life sucks 25474 You deserved it 4551 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - North Hollywood Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29545 You deserved it 2237 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML I agree, your life sucks 46570 You deserved it 7090 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By reconnect - United States Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 34228 You deserved it 7705 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alii2349 - Canada - Brandon Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML I agree, your life sucks 48361 You deserved it 9984 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jesstanothergurl - Canada - Toronto Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML I agree, your life sucks 11555 You deserved it 862 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Itstheapocalypse Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML I agree, your life sucks 1333 You deserved it 2976 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joe Lizen - United States - New Lenox Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML I agree, your life sucks 34061 You deserved it 2167 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By virginkiller - Singapore You learn something new every day Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML I agree, your life sucks 38080 You deserved it 5665 277 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sammmmi - United Kingdom - Paisley Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML I agree, your life sucks 11598 You deserved it 1848 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stupid Today, after turning in a paper that I worked really hard on, I got it back with a grade of 0. In the feedback section, my professor wrote “In all my 37 years of teaching, this is by far the worst essay I have ever read.” FML I agree, your life sucks 2531 You deserved it 653 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mojo0608 - United Kingdom - London Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML I agree, your life sucks 30144 You deserved it 2517 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Fairmont Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML I agree, your life sucks 24153 You deserved it 3319 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bugger Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 40849 You deserved it 5133 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GuitarNerd - United States - Denver Today, my mom told me that I would get to leave school halfway through the day. What she didn't tell me was that the reason I was missing school was to get 2 teeth pulled. FML I agree, your life sucks 5641 You deserved it 721 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Enanimus - United States - Mountain View Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML I agree, your life sucks 26556 You deserved it 2958 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wolf boy - United States Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML I agree, your life sucks 39386 You deserved it 6137 256 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lonely, I am so lonely - United Kingdom - Sheffield Today, a friend posted a photo on Facebook of a meal with all of our other friends. The same meal they'd told me just yesterday had been cancelled. FML I agree, your life sucks 13960 You deserved it 878 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML I agree, your life sucks 36439 You deserved it 3636 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HowAreYouAlive - United States - Ashburn Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML I agree, your life sucks 47598 You deserved it 3878 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML I agree, your life sucks 33140 You deserved it 11942 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sophie - United Kingdom Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML I agree, your life sucks 21976 You deserved it 7665 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 28352 You deserved it 10175 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By abby181 - United States Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML I agree, your life sucks 34020 You deserved it 3487 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gabby - United States Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML I agree, your life sucks 25127 You deserved it 2482 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pimpslaprequired - United States Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 33888 You deserved it 4831 315 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 You deserved it 43 1 Comments
Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML I agree, your life sucks 213 You deserved it 55 3 Comments