It's International Cat Day! Here's 20 reasons to love, and sometimes hate, our feline friends!
One day cats will rule the world…
…but not today, there's something shiny stuck under the couch.
As you all are aware, these evil creatures are spreading and multiplying in our apartments and houses. The ancient Egyptians worshipped cats because they thought they were funny. On FML, when a story involves a cat, you can be sure it's up to mischief.
Having to put up cats means that we love videos of them falling over
You deserved that.
Living with a cat is sometimes funny. Living with a kitten is hilarious.
What on earth are you doing?
Cats and us is a love story as old as time itself, but amongst them, it's even worse. They fight just so they make up afterwards.
Awwww. How sad and pathetic.
Taking care of a cat is full-time job (yes, I said job) and it's a thankless one too. You have to pick out turds from the litter tray like the unluckiest gold miner in the world, clean the tray, play with the cat so it doesn't claw your eyes out during the night, brush it, pick up the paper balls and toys from under the couch, and all that for what? Zilch.
Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
The cliché is that there are cat people and dog people, and never the twain shall meet…
But that's just a cliché, you can love both, and animals can love each other:
And even if a cat gets riled, it'll find a way to get away, just like a feline James Bond:
Some people go all-out for their pet's comfort and well-being
This cat-tree is very high-tech, pretty even, but could only be fitted in a big house for rich people. In a small apartment, it would be oversized and people would whisper things like, "Their relationship… it's platonic, right?"
Get your cat a scratching post though, not that it'll necessarily use it :
Having a cat is like having a friend stay over, but a really lazy and inconsiderate friend
Speaking of which, do you own the cat, or does the cat own you? Limmy knows (warning: Scottish accent ahead):
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
Have weird things been occurring in your house? No need to assume the worst, nor any paranormal activity
Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML
A cat will be a friend for life, but won't be too clingy. Well, not all the time. When the cat wants to sit on you, then that's what it'll do:
Some cats remain discreet. They won't bother you. They might even listen, like a therapist.
If you're debating whether to get a cat, stop right now. Be warned: some are evil
And not only are they evil, they're lazy
Some would even say they're sadists:
Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML
Despite all that, whenever we see a cat, this is our immediate reaction:
It's like a drug that actually works!
Anyway, that's enough cats for now!
If you have cats at home, hold them tight because despite their independant nature, at least you don't have to take them five flight of stairs every time the need to pee. Not like grandma.
Love to all the kitties, safe driving and have a great end to your Summer!