Here Are This Week's Top 12 Funniest Comments
12. There is always one of these types of comments.
Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML
“Well I guess you could say you blew your chances.” -CrazyTrainWreck
11. Stating the obvious is still hilarious, sometimes.
“You kind of told him to go find someone else and I'll give you money.” -LAUGHINGKOMODO
10. Made it just for the imagery.
“I’m pretty sure the ADA prevents hiring discrimination based on superficial injuries.
To make sure, go to the interview in a wheelchair, with an oxygen bottle and guide dog.” -RichardPencil
9. Ok Kanye!
"I ain't saying she a gold digger, but" -OhNoezz
8. Hit em where it hurts!
“Kick her with the good foot” -pjsr
7. Hopefully he doesn't make all the sisters try it on.
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
“The adult version of Cinderella’s glass slipper.” -Donut_Wizard
6. I want a refund!
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years sat me down and told me how much I meant to him. He then told me that he's gay and in love with my best friend Miles, who he's been secretly seeing behind my back for over 2 years. I thought he was going to propose. FML
“Having a gay best friend isn't all it's cracked up to be, now is it?” -Dave_Davington
5. See ya later, or not.
“Did he say: "see you later, alligator!" when he pushed you off?” - Boyufd
4. Someone give me a CHALLENGE.
“I think what people really need is a lollipop of their elbow. That way they can really show off to their friends.” -Donut_Wizard
3. Sexual Harrassment Panda FTW.
“Wait. Did Sexual Harassment Panda kiss that boy, or not?” -BurnInDemonFire
Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML
“How did you not notice this before you got the tattoo? No regerts I guess.” -Donut_Wizard
1. The accuracy, though.
“As an American, this map makes me mad. It implies that people in China have heard of foreign countries, their issues and cultures, and could place them on a map of Europe. Which as a publicly educated American I know is impossible. Now someone tell me what part of China Japan is in again?” -PhoenixChick
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Oh wait... it’s just Sexual Harassment Panda…” -Donut_Wizard