Here Are This Week’s Top 10 Funniest Comments!
10. Now that’s what I call love.
“Well as a married man I can say this is a great metaphor for marriage. Sometimes you need to get your hands dirty and wade through all the crap just to make the other person happy but it never stops been worth it if they the one.”
9. Killing it with the puns.
Going out of business? It's a matter of life and death!Today, the accredited funeral home of my memorial plan is going out of business. Instead of delegating my policy to a different firm, they gave me the package. I now have to take home a land title for where I will be buried, my own coffin, and my headstone. FML
“Sounds like a grave mistake and I’m dead serious when I say you should dig up more info on what you can do.”
8. A parent’s primary responsibility.
“I blame this on her parents. They obviously haven’t shown her Ice Age and thus educated her regarding what Scrat will do to protect his acorn.”
7. And all written in caps lock.
“Good news: you have more friends than ever. Bad news: all the talk is about mah-jongg and fibromyalgia.”
6. True dat.
“And yet another person reminds everyone that if you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.”
5. I’d throw a dildo for you.
“Damn. You'd think at least one other person would throw their dildo on the floor too, just so it's less awkward for you. But I guess helping out a stranger in need is a lost art these days.”
4. Love games.
“Just wait 2-3 days and when you meet him again in Kindergarden, just make sure to lend him his favourite toy. He'll get back to you instantly and maybe his mommy will buy you a new hat.”
3. And the gold medal for most simultaneous injuries goes to...
“Well, you must have broken some kind of record anyway.”
2. Hindsight is always 20/20
“Could've shut 'em up with "Some of those 'D's are in my grade book."”
1. She came prepared.
“She probably buttered up the cops.”
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
“If you fell asleep in the garage, you would have got to sleep at 2 am and you wouldn't hear the baby over the industrial fans.”
“Explain to everyone that it's not what it looks like, it's a dog toy.”
“Not to mention the pen that exploded in the dryer.”
“Could have been worse. A dildo could have exploded in the dryer”
RELATIONSHIP GOALS AWARD
“I guess you’re a bit rye-led up huh? But there’s no knead to worry, at least you have all your dough.”
“She didn’t get any of your bread? Not even a pumpernickel!?!?”
“She got naan of the bread. But I think he has crust issues now.”