Here Are The Top 10 Comments Of The Week!
Now presenting this week's top comments... Congrats to everyone who made the list!
10. Bippity boppity, bitch.
Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML
"I take it your fairy godmother flaked?" - logicalliv
9. It's true though.
Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML
"walk in stare and say calmly "the bumper sticker was an inside job"" - Linda Mau
8. There's nothing I can do.
"Total eclipse of the FART!" - rcrumbak
7. Be strong.
Today, my nana turned up at my flat for a visit, barged in without knocking, and found me having sex with both of my girlfriends. The vicious religious lecture that followed would have stripped the tramp stamp off a whore. She then rampaged through our bedroom and binned all our sex toys. FML
"I don't know who to side with. My head says "you should have locked the door", my heart says "never disrespect your Grandmother", my gut says "Nana's a religious nut, avoid at all costs", and my penis says "lesbian polygamy? hurry up and open PornHub!". As you can see, this is a huge dilemma." - BurnInDemonFire
"I’m sure it’s one you can rise above and overcome...." - Leeono
"What a bummer" - TheSminty1
5. Looks like Andy Dwyer fixed his network connectivity problems.
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
"Everyone knows you're supposed to put it in the microwave..." - Abbusser
4. That might even break your glasses.
"Birdie birdie in the sky
Dropped a poopie in my eye
I don’t care, I don’t cry
I just thank god cows don’t fly!" - Angélique Chantal
3. At least he found it this time!
Today, my husband took me to an airsoft shop so he could try a new pistol. We went on the range to shoot it, but while he was loading it went off and shot me. I was only wearing my leggings, so I felt the full power of that BB as it traveled at 200 feet per second at my clitoris. FML
"Premature discharge, eh? I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s given your clit a disappointing surprise." - RichardPencil
2. Sounds like a mugger...
"I have never heard of an elegant finger tattoo..." - XUDT72
"Right???? That's like saying "it was a respectful & classy neck tattoo."" - faifai_fml
"I was also shocked when I found my first grey pube. Not as shocked as the people on the elevator, though." - draghkar
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
Today, it's been weeks since I made a Facebook page to arrange something for my birthday as no one was able to attend last year on short notice. Everyone was game but now everyone is flaking. One friend even said, "I'll see who RSVPs and then decide." FML
"Time to join the "Forever Alone" WhatsApp group..." - Abbusser
That's all for now, folks!
If you didn't make it this week, don't despair. We saw probably 100 others that were worthy... As we said in the opening - so many comments, so little time! We're not complaining, of course... Keep 'em coming and good luck for next week!