Here Are The Top 10 Comments Of The Week!
Welcome to our top comments list! It may have been ranked in the past, but don't let the numbers trip you up. This is just a fun collection of our staff-picked favorite comments of the week. Congrats to everyone who made the list - let's jump in!
"You obviously suffer from reptiledisfunction." - Larissa Russo
Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML
"WASPs are such a pain in the ass, with their “my ancestors came over on the Mayflower — we’re the real Americans” bullshit." - RichardPencil
7. Where's Dora when you need her?
Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML
"It's a shame, sluttyfox, you forgot to say "Swiper, no swiping!" Now your own kin has stolen your shit. Better luck next time, OP." - Levi2411
6. We're waiting!
"You all need Jesus..." - Phillycheeze
"as soon as he gets some disco lights." - EmDizzle2007
5. Username checks out.
Today, my gallstones flared up so badly an ambulance was called. I needed the strongest painkillers they could supply and had even more at the hospital. When my boyfriend came to visit me, instead of comforting words, he told me that "being kicked in the balls is still worse". FML
"Sounds like an invitation to me... " - Abbusser
4. That's un-beak-lievable.
Today, I realised my parrot loves to masturbate on anything soft I own, like my sweater, house socks, blanket, and even my hair bun on the top of my head. I only realised this when my boyfriend pointed out that my parrot was humping my bun. FML
"Watch out, you might catch chirpes. Its un-tweet-able." - whiskey'swino
3. OP is 95.
Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML
"Which “29th” birthday is this for you?" - RichardPencil
"How many 29th birthdays do you need to celebrate before one sip of rosé makes you start talking to your spleen? I'd say it was that many." - BurnInDemonFire
2. I do my little turn on the catwalk...
"I'm too sexy for my fur, too sexy for my fur, so sexy I purr!" - Glowworm56
1. Well alright then.
"God I hate those "buy one get one free" packages. What am I supposed to do with the other one!?" - gublaman
"Stick it in your vagina, apparently." - Dave_Davington
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
"Could they see Jesus in it?" - Itsbeenalong
That's all for this week, folks! Which one was your favorite?
Congrats again to all who made the list, and good luck to everyone for next week!