Here Are The 20 Funniest Tweets From This Week!
1. Time to listen to bird calls.
I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music start blasting like wooooahh there big fella I’m not the same person i was last night
— Pierre Savage-Hunter (@PrettyboiiDB_9) August 7, 2018
2. Much better option.
therapy
— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) August 6, 2018
- expensive
- months to years of hard work
- emotionally draining
“it be like that sometimes”
- free
- immediately super effective
- emotionally healing
3. Looks delicious tbh.
i almost had a heart attack https://t.co/uyBoVlSPFZ
— griffin (@MuenchowGriffin) August 4, 2018
4. Well, this is the truest tweet to ever be true.
Ticketmaster: $55 per ticket
— sus (@susiezennario) August 8, 2018
Me: ok I’ll take 2
Ticketmaster: ok that will be $400
5. Lol jk.
me when i admit my feelings for someone https://t.co/SdPfb20ob0
— ً (@V1NCHY) August 8, 2018
6. Facts. 💅🏽
You dress how you wanna when no one can whoop your ass. https://t.co/bhgrv9YWSv
— Black Marvel Girl (@BlackMarvelGirl) August 4, 2018
7. Adulthood, described in a single tweet.
My 4 year old cousin said "if a Happy Meal is for kids, then grown-ups must eat Sad Meals" and it was the most real thing I've ever heard.
— rav (@Doughbvy) August 8, 2018
8. Regrets came in LIKE A WRECKKKKINNNG BALLLL
i’m still not over miley cyrus going on an insane two year bender and then waking up in a sundress and cowboy hat one day and pretending like it never happened
— hotelshrimp (@hotelshrimp) August 3, 2018
9. GUYS, please take this into consideration before entering a relationship!!!
If you’re 20 and he’s 28 yall should NOT be dating
— sad_girl2000 (@needyasshoe) August 7, 2018
There is a HUGE maturity gap
You need to be with someone who’s your own age mentally
(He needs to be at least 45)
10. Congratulations!!!
these gender reveals gettin outta hand https://t.co/B3Nb9DG0bn
— AngelTFC (@AngeITFC) August 9, 2018
11. Everyone stop what you're doing and watch this.
I got bored so I voiced Kim as Mickey pic.twitter.com/xIOUyeAFK5
— Hi it’s fucking Maleek 🇵🇸 (@WokeMutant) August 6, 2018
12. What in the hell
im not even high but im too high for this https://t.co/iZv76wNwtw
— lady legasus (@_ayoosamm) August 4, 2018
13. Now you wait just a cotton picking minute
white ppl love to use the bathroom before leaving a restaurant and come out shaking their hands dry saying “ready to rock and roll??”
— 27_male_nyc (@25_male_nyc) August 7, 2018
14. They absolutely killed it.
When New Yorkers hear a violin 🤣🔥🎻 pic.twitter.com/HEjW3D3pge
— Junebug (@airjunebug) August 4, 2018
15. When you force your kid to pick a sport.
Fuck this kid.
— Jay Kirell (@JasonKirell) August 5, 2018
Fuck that kid.
Fuck you too. pic.twitter.com/BfKxJhEEtw
16. Cut. CUT. CUUUUUUTTTT.
ARE WE GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT RAY J’s HAT MOVED LIKED 2,000 TIMES IN LIKE 10 SECONDS!!!! 😂😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/IcoAPmAv2q
— Rawri (@Rawshaud) August 7, 2018
17. It was a long fight.
RIP racism (1492-2018) https://t.co/bozni1WpFW
— RJ (@itsrjhill) August 7, 2018
18. He just bop bop bopped straight to the top and never looked back.
today I overheard a little boy describing zac efron by saying “the one who’s in the greatest showman and baywatch” and i’m just upset to realize we’re raising generations who don’t immediately associate zac efron with the Iconic Role of troy bolton
— cassidy (@calexandralocke) August 4, 2018
19. CAN THIS PLEASE BE A THING BECAUSE SIGN ME UP.
I don’t want a sugar daddy but maybe like a sugar buddy. I just hit him up like “Hey how are you today?” and he replies “Doing great thanks for asking here’s $7,000. “
— Olivia Vincent (@Oliviathepig907) August 4, 2018
20. TRUE LOVE IS REAL. AND KINDA GROSS.
my cousin went to pride years ago and threw up on someone on a ferris wheel- fast forward 10 years, him and his husband were talking about pride and his husband told him a story about when he was thrown up on at pride- my cousin threw up on his husband 5 years before they met
— l¡l¡! (@lilijohnsonxx) August 4, 2018
Canada
Australia
