Here Are The 17 Funniest Tweets Of The Week!
1. Give this man an award.
i noticed there was a blank wall at mcdonald’s so i decided to make this fake poster of me and my friend. It’s now been 51 days since i hung it up. pic.twitter.com/5OTf5aR4vm— JΞVH M (@Jevholution) September 3, 2018
2. Nailed it.
My little brother learned how to use the water dispenser for our fridge and... pic.twitter.com/vG54i8FlZS— Iza (@IMolzan) September 6, 2018
3. There are so many videos of this but this one is the best.
I highly recommend that everyone turns their siblings invisible HAHAHAH pic.twitter.com/SK4jLw7cNa— DAVID DOBRIK (@DavidDobrik) September 6, 2018
4. If he didn't get the job I'm quitting life.
Had an interview today and my belly rumbled, the lady goes 'missed lunch?' i told her na im hungry for success LOOOOOOL 🤣🤣— Maximus (@SirmadMahmood) September 3, 2018
5. HELL YEAH /teen angst
Ok but how fukin TIGHT was it rearranging your room when you were younger and it feeling like a different space and you’d show your parents and they’d be like wow very nice and you’d be like FUCK yes new room new me— Bay (@i_BAYlooknurway) September 3, 2018
6. Who really does this though?
Me responsibly washing my face after a night of drinking https://t.co/rQbYfETPZv— esh (@eatchaaa) September 5, 2018
7. This man is not the hero we deserve
In line at McDonald’s.... shitty little kid behind me screaming he wants an apple pie at his mother...— Cool name pending.... (@vlcker77) September 5, 2018
I get to counter...
Me: Hi I’ll have a Number 3, Large.... and excuse me how many apple pies do you have back there....
McD worker: 12
Me: I’ll take them all
8. They DIED, carol. That's what happened.
People say “well what did people do before vaccines/antibiotics/pasteurisation?” as if that’s an argument for going natural.— Elise Kumar 🤷♀️ (@elisekumar) September 8, 2018
They died, Carol. A lot of people died.
9. This is the kind of wholesome content we're looking for
She never specified what kind of foot long... WELCOME HOME BENTLEY BABY pic.twitter.com/MrU6ny4Y5b— kelsey johnstone (@_kelseygracee) September 4, 2018
10. This too
Imagine fucking her over and getting jumped by 6 dudes that look alike. Shits gone look like a shadow clone jutsu https://t.co/VSPiDuwQhv— Nik (@AmoNickk) September 2, 2018
11. AND THIS! WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE
This is the only thing I will be able to think about for the next week pic.twitter.com/u7mtMpmf51— britney spears 2007 (@wheresyonce) September 2, 2018
12. It's still no excuse!
I remember one time I caught my ex talking to some dude in an indie band and was telling him she’s sad and she said something along the lines of “my boyfriend is a musician (me) and hasn’t once made a song about me or how he loves me” like bro I play the drums wtf lol— andrew (@pena_core) September 4, 2018
13. Carry on
Ladies, if you think it’s okay to wear a shirt without a bra and I can see your whole ass nipples......you’d be correct that shits fire please keep doing that— mayana (@mayanakatherine) September 3, 2018
14. So if you take out your trash are you husband material?
Y’all call basic life skills wife material. I told this guy I was cooking and he said oh you a wife. Nigga I’m just fucking hungry.— boo boo the fool. (@lonthecelebrity) September 7, 2018
me 5 years ago: the internet isnt your diary sweetie(:— b (@boujeesIut) September 5, 2018
me now: whats up twitter today i cried in a mcdonald’s bathroom
16. Wal-Mart comitted to the grudge.
JUST HAD A JOB INTERVIEW AT WALMART AND THEY SHOWED ME A VIDEO OF ME SHOPLIFTING 😭— ً (@CHRISGUSTlNG) September 5, 2018
17. God damn hipsters.
i’m still pissed that wal-mart used to sell these for $10 and now they’re $60+.. look at what you bitches did https://t.co/IwBcYClfiP— Prie$terin (@umcornell) September 5, 2018