Here Are The 16 Funniest Tweets From This Week!
1. THIS POOR PUP
don’t say nun just RT pic.twitter.com/yvANYoCSh9
— budokai (@budokai_) April 28, 2018
2. Only servers will understand.
waitress: i’m sorry your food is taking so long!
— karma pElise (@nintendoesnt) April 29, 2018
me: *presses forehead against hers* listen to me. i know it’s not your fault. i love you. i am tipping you 80%.
3. They see me rollin'....
You’re welcome pic.twitter.com/KGYZu23TNZ
— 𝔰𝔢𝔟𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔞𝔫🕷 (@sumsusshit) April 30, 2018
4. Marry him.
Most guys: send noodes
— sarah marie cintron (@sarahmcintron) May 2, 2018
My boyfriend: pic.twitter.com/OX02C1FyLu
5. Much video, very games.
Me pretending to know how to play fork knife to impress some guy pic.twitter.com/kifb7Le5t8
— Kung Fu Renny (@ruhnayyy_) April 29, 2018
6. You never know what's gonna happen, gotta be prepared.
I keep that mf THANG on me pic.twitter.com/FR9VnmXo9m
— lesss (@lezsss) May 1, 2018
7. How long has this been going on?
John got nominated for a Tony this morning for a song he apparently wrote for spongebob squarepants. Why does he not tell me when he writes spongebob songs?? What else is he lying about?? Are there other songs out there??
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 1, 2018
8. This little kid is so committed to the joke aint nothin gonna stop him.
If any of you need a laugh, the coach told my cousin to run home as fast as he can and he delivered pic.twitter.com/VpBBzIEtzf
— ratby (@TabbyRodriguez) April 29, 2018
9. This girl has seen some shit.
My daughter looked me dead in the eye and said "Daddy, no matter what.. We gotta keep going and hope to see another day." I just wanna know what the hell they got going on in her pre-k that's so stressful that she came across that saying
— Dominus (@TheLateSh0w) April 28, 2018
10. Well at least you know that next time that he cheats, you know it won't be on her.
It’s all fun and games until Carrie Underwood digs her keys into the side of your pretty little souped up 4-wheel drive.
— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) May 3, 2018
11. If you say this isn't you, you're lying tbh.
Me: “okay I’m done spending money.”
— kody (@KodeineCrazy2) May 2, 2018
Friend: “wanna go eat?”
Me: pic.twitter.com/GVvqPvrwvG
12. Well isn't this the truth.
"What's the craziest thing you've ever done for money?"
— ♉ May 6God ♉ (@DevinThe_Legend) April 29, 2018
Me: pic.twitter.com/9yf8OLT3mx
13. I miss all the drunk girls from the bathroom I hope all their dreams came true.
drunk girls at bars: ok, listen britney, it is britney right? ok listen britney. you. are a GODDESS. you're too good for any man. I love you and your cute top
— gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) April 30, 2018
drunk guys at bars: did you just fuckin breathe on me? fuckin breathe on me again bro gimme a reason to knock you out
14. Benedict Cumberbatch is too pure for this world.
benedict preventing tom from leaking spoilers: a thrilling saga 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/VyIdKTTeA4
— captain* (@iamgeekingout) April 30, 2018
15. The Most Relatable Tweet Of The Week™
me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math
— melanie (@anemicfatty) April 30, 2018
me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8
16. Annnnnd here goes another 3 hours of my life
me looking at myself in the mirror after putting on the outfit that looked so good on me in my head pic.twitter.com/aAGYE2H4ns
— 𝖎𝖘𝖆𝖇𝖊𝖑 (@liltinyisabel) April 28, 2018
