Here Are The 14 Funniest Tweets Of The Week!
1. I need to retake Anatomy for sure.
HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything.— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) February 20, 2018
ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better?
HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.
2. Son of a bitch!
I followed my dad around with a confetti cannon for a couple weeks... 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/y6AS1ARBVA— Kylie Moy (@kyliemoy) February 22, 2018
3. "I'm not saying I'm a filmophile, but uhhhh yeah."
*on a date*— lil arab (@maybetomhanks) February 21, 2018
ya im kind of a film nerd
*back at my place*
so here's my orange VHS copy of Rugrats in Paris
4. Enjoy your bean water but I'll just drink my chocolate milk, thanks.
Random girl next to me in class: I see u brought ur daily coffee as well, to get thro these 8ams— Blake (@Blakegarav) February 19, 2018
Me: haha ya, that’s college for u
Me inside: she can’t ever know that my yeti is filled with chocolate milk
5. *Eyeroll so hard that eyes roll out of their sockets*
Me: *gets comfy with a FAT plate of food and turns on Netflix*— zander (@finah) February 18, 2018
6. Alright Janet let's calm down, do you accept returns.
friends who grew up poor: *buy me food n doesnt ask me to pay them back*— vague blur (@krnsux) February 21, 2018
friends who grew up rich: so u owe me 27 cents for taking a sip out of my latte
7. Job goals.
I mean I’ve been bored at work but this can’t be topped pic.twitter.com/pcUFEBgaBR— Jordan Rutledge (@JordanRutledge) February 16, 2018
8. Seriously I want a refund.
why is being alive so expensive. im not even having a good time— reaghan (@reaghanhunt) February 20, 2018
9. We've found it for you guys, the all time funniest video on the internet.
This “head ripping prank” is the funniest thing you’ll see on the net today 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👇🏾 pic.twitter.com/JhYVg5TwQ9— Fido Stone (@JonnyStone11) February 19, 2018
10. Most Relatable Tweet Of The Week™
I lost my car chapstick and now my book bag chapstick is in my room and my room chapstick is in my car and my whole life’s outta wack— ✧ dbreezy ✧ (@DanielleBreeden) February 18, 2018
11. WHAT ARE THEY SELLING?
my grandma talking to my mom about her new hearing aid, "it's the most expensive one u can buy, it cost me $4,000.”— jarrett (@JarrettsPosts) February 20, 2018
my mom: "what kind is it?"
my grandma: "it's 4:15pm"
12. The most unfair punishment.
When someone is getting in trouble and the teacher says "The next person who laughs is getting sent to the office" pic.twitter.com/wz6LuiTqaw— 6 callers ahead of us Jimmy (@lovellex_) February 19, 2018
13. At least he was honest?
i asked my grandpa, “after 65 years u still call grandma darling, beautiful, and honey. what’s the secret?”— jarrett (@JarrettsPosts) February 19, 2018
grandpa: “i forgot her name 5 years ago and i’m scared to ask her.”
14. No one... will suspect... a thing.
We tried getting the two for one special at black panther. The manager was not having it. pic.twitter.com/Ktqsuh7s3m— Pillsbury (@stevelikescups) February 16, 2018