We at FML spend so much time reading through all the submissions to sort out trash from treasure that we get bummed before too long. That’s why we take the occasional Twitter breaks to pick us back up.

Here are some of our favorite Tweets from the week that made us laugh!

1. It's the subtlety that is impressive.

.@KFC follows 11 people.

Those 11 people? 5 Spice Girls and 6 guys named Herb.

11 Herbs & Spices. I need time to process this.

— Edge (@edgette22) October 19, 2017

2. I can tell you the pythagorean theorem. Is that going to help me do my taxes?

“You’re almost 22, you should have learned about taxes in high school.”

First of all, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

— Logan (@LJD31) October 17, 2017

3. Where FML feels at home.

*opens instagram*

yep, everyone's life is still better than mine

*closes instagram*

*opens twitter*

ah yes. my fellow trash bretheren.

— Brazos (@Brazos_Elkins) October 18, 2017

4. Frankly, your youth offends me. 

In the "I'm getting old" department.., a kid saw this and said, "oh, you 3D-printed the 'Save' Icon." pic.twitter.com/rwgCpSjfDQ

— Bill Gross (@Bill_Gross) October 17, 2017

5. Well this is creepy.

Ummmm is this allowed?? pic.twitter.com/EMqrnJdWsg

— 5'4 and Femme (@sandyzmind) October 23, 2017

6. I just can't look, it's krilling me.

Now she's falling asleep, and I'm calling a crab. pic.twitter.com/NN0pQavvzP

— Justine Stafford (@JustineStafford) October 20, 2017

7. Slippery slope, y'all.

I don't understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What's next, more things?? That's how they get you

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) October 21, 2017

8. I see our reputation precedes us.

my sister's foreign exchange student: "in France we hear that when Americans are depressed they eat whole containers of ice cream"

— Meg Hricovec (@meghricovec) October 18, 2017

9. Kids with ADD aren't the only one's taking adderall these days.

"I don't give money to homeless people because they'll just spend it on drugs"

I've got news for you about your kids at uni Karen

— molldog (@mcronshaw) October 23, 2017

10. "am i gregnant?"

no matter what you're going through, always remember someone on Yahoo Answers was going through the same thing in 2007

— javie? (@jyoungwhite) October 20, 2017

11. No need for the sorting hat over here.

The very idea that you're over there fighting about what hogwarts house you are makes you a hufflepuff. End of story.

— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) October 21, 2017

12. You and your magic hands can karate chop your way out of my sight, Bubbles.

bubbles is out here holding two chopsticks with no fingers and I can't even hold together my will to live pic.twitter.com/6wjEXxHluY

— tired garbage can (@ugsadkid) October 21, 2017

13. "Toto, I don't think we're in college anymore."

I'm "this restaurant is too loud" years old.

— Jewel Staite (@JewelStaite) October 21, 2017

14. The world's greatest mystery.

the word doritos, with the diminutive suffix "-ito," implies the existence of larger chip. i intend to find this mythic ur-chip, this "Doro"

— bens rights activist (@UniqueDude2) October 23, 2017

15. Someone's in trouble.

fuck https://t.co/eedaUm7bFA

— Taiwan Jones (@TaiwanJoness) October 20, 2017

16. When your essay is co-authored by the thesaurus.

Then I add "furthermore", "nevertheless" and "notwithstanding the fact that" just to make it spicy https://t.co/tHP85s37ky

— Pri (@pricisionart) October 20, 2017

17. I wasn't the only one? My dad always bought me the green one.

Did we all live the same exact fucking life https://t.co/R4prtvcMG4

— Kenna (@kennabbby) October 18, 2017

18. Lessons that will take you far in life.

"What has college taught you?"

me: https://t.co/RpgLxoW0ja

— marc (@MGarcia_Rhodes) October 20, 2017

19. If Sallie Mae was having a Black Friday sale, I'd be first in line.

College tuition https://t.co/poZhmGh97s

— Dre (@Misfitdre) October 22, 2017

20. Why can't you just let me live my life? 

Mom: Why do you have $1.67 on your debit card

Me: https://t.co/hYL4gKjHe8

— Chandler Kane (@chano_from79th) October 19, 2017